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Young Writers Society


12+

Silver

by Joelsweet


We lay our scene many, many years ago, in a kingdom filled with flowers by the sea. There were lush green fields and expansive rice paddies, with forests in between that held hidden secrets. The people who resided in the realm were kind and kept mostly to themselves. The king and queen were compassionate and just, beloved by many. Their eldest progeny was a princess, who was wise for her age and would certainly become an excellent leader.

They only had one other child, a son. His name was Katsuki Yuuri, and he was rather timid and anxious. He often wondered how he would be able to rule a country when he had a difficult time working up the courage to even speak to foreign diplomats, let alone negotiate with them. When he was younger, he had foolishly hoped that his worries would disappear with time. Unfortunately, he had not; he was of age, and still had a tough time making even simple decisions.

Yuuri sighed, foot shaking under his thigh as he kneeled. He was in another tedious war “council,” although “argument” was a more suitable word. All of the military leaders cared very deeply about keeping their citizens safe, they just had widely differing opinions on how to do that. There was frequent passionate quarreling and glowers made of knives; once Yuuri was subjected to a man’s animated recitation of a haiku that he had personally written on why his strategy was the most superior.

Hardly anything ever got resolved, and Yuuri didn't even know why he had to be present. It was far too loud for him to be noticed even if he had a point or thought to share. He already had an aching, throbbing headache, and hearing the elderly General Yamamoto go on a tirade about “battles from the good old days” was definitely not helping. A red-faced man with a wispy mustache and goatee roared and stood up, slamming his ornate paper fan on the low table beside him. All eyes turned to him, and Yuuri saw his opportunity. Quietly, he slipped out of the room before anyone could notice.

His steps thumped softly against the wooden flooring of the hallway, and he gazed up at the regal paintings on the shōji of ancestors long dead as he moved past them. Nervously, he chewed his cheek, removed his tall hat, and pulled out the string binding up his hair so that it fell around him like a shroud. How could he ever live up to the expectations that they had set? It was as if they were all giving him disappointed looks, like they already knew that he was a failure. A dreadfully familiar empty, sinking feeling settled in his chest, and he looked down at his tabi socks. He quickened his pace, yearning to free himself from the scrutinizing watch of his forefathers.

Yuuri sighed in relief as he rounded a corner, and wondered if Phichit was around somewhere. He desperately needed someone to talk to, and his friend usually brightened his day. But with a despondent sigh, he recalled that Phichit was at his sick mother's house for the week to help take care of his siblings until she could recover. Who else could he turn to to confide in? His sister was busy with her lessons, and his parents were away on a diplomatic mission. There was absolutely nobody. Despair rose up inside of him, and a lump formed in his throat. He felt so utterly alone…

Yuuri took a relatively unused side exit, gingerly opening and closing the sliding panel door, and started down an overgrown path. Large stone lanterns were on either side, crumbling ruins of once elegantly carved light sources. Not many people went this way anymore. The garden at the end of the trail had been long since abandoned and left to become wild. A branch scraped against his thigh, and although he was sure it was bleeding, he felt too hollow to care.

Finally, he arrived at a clearing. Beyond it was a dense forest that nobody entered besides the bravest hunters. Legend told that the woods were the domain of a powerful demon, but he suspected that it was just an old wives’ tale to keep children from wandering into the thick trees and getting lost.

Yuuri sat down on the soft, spongy moss and then laid back. He set his hat down and tried to relax, but his melancholy wouldn't stop gnawing away at him. Tears welled in his eyes, but he couldn't entirely give a clear reason as to why. A breeze blew through, and some delicate purple petals landed on him. He looked up, and through the parting of the wisteria tendrils above him, he could see fragments of azure sky like shattered glass. The current gently lifted the hair off of his forehead, and he could hear wind chimes somewhere in the distance.

Nearby was a dried-up pond bed, a collapsing stone bridge arching over it and the koi that had once inhabited it long gone. He took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scents of spring that filled the air. He stretched his fingers out and caught hold of sun-warmed stones, then began softly picking them up and letting them fall again.

The atmosphere was so peaceful, and yet Yuuri couldn't help but feel… He couldn't quite describe it. It was as if a piece of him was missing, leaving only a gaping void in its wake. But underneath the massive weight crushing him, there was a different sensation deep inside of his chest. It was akin to the small buzz of a bumblebee or a flickering flame; a spark of something beginning or changing. It made him uneasy and set him even more on edge.

Yuuri heard a rustling, and his eyes flew open, heart pounding wildly. Had someone discovered him here? Panic jolted through his system as he waited there, alert and ready to flee.

He let out a breath when a pale golden cat with faint spotted markings stepped out of the bushes nearby.

“Oh,” he exclaimed, mildly surprised. He didn't think that any of the resident felines looked like this. Perhaps it was a stray? He offered a small smile. He had a soft spot for animals. The cat ignored him, sauntering forward.

Yuuri outstretched a hand to pet it, but got hissed at menacingly. “Oh, sorry,” he apologized guiltily, even though the kitty couldn't understand him. Up close, he could see that it was fairly small, too big to be a kitten but not quite an adult.

To Yuuri’s surprise, the cat bit the hem of his kimono and attempted to drag him away. He watched, bewildered, as the cat pawed at his leg to try and pull him. With a gasp, he realized that needle-like claws had scratched his skin. He stood up to try and deter the animal, but it was determined to take him somewhere. He tried to walk away, but the cat held its ground with its jaws firmly clamped on the bottom of his clothing.

“Stop, please.” The cat glared up at him in response, aquamarine eyes narrowed. Yuuri was scared to touch it to move it in fear of being attacked.

He halted and began to think. What would be the harm in just going where the cat wanted him to? Nobody would miss him for many hours, and he had nothing better to do.

He caved in, and started in the direction in which he was being tugged. The cat trotted ahead of him quickly, and Yuuri struggled to keep up. He wasn't really a fast walker (or runner for that matter).

The cat entered the forest and Yuuri came to a stop, pulse fluttering in trepidation as frightening stories about the woods from his childhood began flashing through his mind. Oni, monstrous boars, gashadokuro… and then the powerful demon rumored to reign here. But he shook his head to try and forget these things and pressed forward. There was probably nothing to worry about.

As he left the garden a chill ghosted down his spine and he almost turned back, but then chastised himself bitingly. ‘Stop being so anxious, it’s pathetic.’

With a gulp, Yuuri plunged even deeper into the trees. Again and again he looked behind him, and soon the broad yakusugi trunks had entirely obscured the view of the castle.

A blanket of mist had covered the whole landscape, cold and wet. He could swear that he could see shadowy figures in the fog, but it was probably just his imagination. Bizarre mushrooms clung to decaying logs, and he kept finding himself slowing down to examine plant life that he had never seen before. Everytime he did this, however, the cat would sit down and yowl impatiently until he had caught up. Occasionally he was afraid that he had lost the cat, but then it reappeared. It seemed to grow more and more irritated every time.

They crossed trickling streams on rocks slick with vibrant green moss, and faced thick undergrowth that clung to Yuuri’s fine clothes (although he didn't mind very much). His legs began to ache with fatigue, and he wished that he had brought a horse with him.

Where in the world was the cat taking him? It felt like he had been stumbling forward over roots and sticks for hours. The sun began to descend in the sky, and he was thinking about turning back. Following the cat had been such a foolish decision… God, he was stupid.

He soon realized that this was his only option now though; he had no clue how to get back to the palace, and that thought frightened him immensely.

At long last, the feline guided Yuuri through an opening and into a clearing beside a river. Sitting on a boulder right in the middle of the tumbling water was the most radiant person that he had ever seen in his entire life.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing that Yuuri noticed was those eyes, bright cerulean like the sky fading into the ocean.. He hadn't seen eyes that color before, only shades of amber, brown, and black. They seemed so full of life and spirit, but there was something sad and lonely beneath the gaiety. His beautiful face was so strange-looking; nobody in Yuuri's country had features like that. The eyelids had a crease in them, which made those expressive eyes seem much larger. His cheekbones were high, and his angled jawline was sloped. He had a large forehead that was partially obscured by hair falling over it.

His hair. It was the color of silver, shimmering as it caught the setting sun’s rays. It was actually glowing, so brilliantly that it was nearly blinding to look at. Yuuri thought that the strands looked like pure spun moonlight. The tresses were loosely braided into a long, thick plait, which flowed into the river behind him. The water shifted it softly back and forth with the swells of the current. Even none of the ladies of the court had hair that length.

The young man was dressed in an elaborately embroidered scarlet shirt in a foreign style. It had clasps down the front, and long sleeves trimmed with gold. Around his slender waist was wrapped a pleated skirt of the same colour that resembled a hakama. Pointed black shoes adorned his feet, and Yuuri gathered enough of his thoughts to reason that they would be rather uncomfortable to walk in.

Yuuri's mouth was dry and had fallen open. It was as if he was under a spell; he couldn't move or tear his eyes away from the vision before him. The stranger lifted his gaze, and their eyes met. Yuuri's heart jolted immediately, and his face grew hot.

“Yuuri!” the lovely person called cheerfully over the sound of the rushing water, beaming at him. The river wasn't particularly wide or deep, but it was loud enough that one had to raise their voice to be heard.

Yuuri gasped sharply. How did this stranger know his name? Suddenly, it was called to his attention how unpresentable he must look. His hair was knotted, his kimono torn, and he was pretty sure that he had managed to get dirt smudged on his face. Oh, what a bad first impression, the stranger probably-

“You... Marry me?” the silver-haired man asked brightly, in heavily accented Japanese. Yuuri blinked and snapped out of his trance, taken aback.

“W-what?” he stammered, flustered. The stranger repeated himself, his eyes sparkling, and Yuuri couldn't summon any words with which to respond.

“Not want to marry me?” the stranger inquired, tilting his head to the right and placing a finger on his chin. His bow-shaped lips were slightly pouted.

“Uh…” ‘Say something!’ He was at a loss, his thoughts stalling and tongue helpless. He gathered himself and swallowed. “I- I don't even know you.”

The ethereal visage looked crestfallen.

“I know about you.” He sounded wounded.

“How?” Yuuri questioned.

“Yuri brought me …” The stranger looked puzzled, as if he was searching for the correct word. “Papers! From this land.” Oh no. There was hardly ever a positive thing about Yuuri in those articles. But he hadn’t brought this man any papers, so who was the Yuuri that he was talking about?

“Oh!” The stranger must have seen Yuuri's confusion. He gestured to the cat, which was still sitting a comfortable distance away from Yuuri. “Also Yuri,” he explained, then waited to make sure that he had been understood.

Yuuri nodded. He and the cat had the same name. The stranger smiled as if he had had an epiphany, and turned to Yuri. He told him something in another language, bemusement evident in his tone. The cat puffed up, hair standing on end, and hissed. So it could understand human speech? Perhaps it was a spirit of some kind.

The silver-haired man tossed his head back and broke out into peals of laughter. It sounded so clear and rich. An uneasy, anxious feeling settled in Yuuri’s belly. Was he making fun of him?

The stranger’s breathing steadied, and he turned his attention back to Yuuri. He pointed to the cat, giggling slightly.

“Name Yurio now.”

‘Oh.’ Yuuri’s stomach unclenched as relief washed over him, and his lips turned up into a smile of sorts. He felt a wave of confidence, though it was only a small one.

“What do you know about me?” He attempted to keep the falter out of his voice, rather unsuccessfully. The silver-haired man’s face positively lit up.

“Prince Yuuri, most strong and brave in whole land!” ‘I am?’ Yuuri wondered.

“You- you must be mistaken, I'm not-,” he hastily tried to tell him, waving his hands in front of his face.

“Most handsome also.” The stranger winked playfully, and Yuuri gasped like a fish. When he found that he could not form coherent sentences, he gave up. How could anyone come to such conclusions? He was about as far away from courageous as possible. And attractive? ‘Ha.’

Yuuri bit his lips and shifted his line of sight down to his sandalled feet.

“I...It's getting dark, I should go back home before people start to worry.” Would they really? He would have liked to stay with the man longer…

“Wait!” came a cry. Yuuri glanced up. The silver-haired man still had a smile on his face, but his eyes conveyed desperation and desolation. “Visit soon?” he requested hopefully, a waver in his tone. His eyes seemed to be pleading, and Yuuri felt an ache of loneliness. He knew how he must be feeling.

“I'll return soon,” he assured, hoping that the other man was convinced. He didn't want him to worry about being abandoned. “Are you alright here by yourself?”

“Okay.” That stunning smile had returned. “Live here.”

‘What? He lives here, in the middle of these dangerous woods?’ Yuuri decided not to press it any further. This was all so bizarre. Perhaps the man was a water yokai? If that was the case, then why hadn't Yuuri been drowned yet? No, he had to be something else.

Yuuri bowed.

“Farewell…” He realized something, and cursed himself. “I'm so sorry, I never properly introduced myself or asked your name,” he apologized profusely. So impolite of him… It was as if he had forgotten all that he had been taught.

“Viktor,” the silver-haired man informed him, gorgeous eyes crinkling in happiness. It made Yuuri’s heart skip a beat and then flutter like a small bird.

“A-” He gulped. “A pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Viktor.” He couldn't pronounce the name very well, but he hoped that his attempt was acceptable. Sure that his face was flushing, he dipped his head respectfully. As much as he wanted to drink in the sight of Viktor, it was quite rude to stare.

“Sorry kept you,” Viktor told him, voice smooth like velvet. Yuuri blinked twice.

“Oh! It's alright.” He stared off into the tangled woods, and panic tried to crawl up his throat.

“Yurio go with you?” Viktor offered, most likely seeing the fear on Yuuri’s face. The cat meowed irritably in protest. Yuuri let out a breath, feeling a smidge better. He was immensely grateful.

“Thank you so much.” He bowed deeply once more, and a lock of hair slipped over his shoulder and nearly brushed against the ground before he caught it and tucked it back behind his ear. So embarrassing… “Farewell, Viktor.” Viktor clumsily copied the bow from where he was sitting, as if it were out of the ordinary for him, and grinned.

“Farewell, handsome Yuuri.”

Feeling his face grow hot, Yuuri quickly turned away. Yurio growled and then dashed ahead, a streak of gold in the pale moonlight. Before he left the clearing, Yuuri allowed himself a single glance behind him.

Viktor was illuminated in the dim light, even more alluring than the last time Yuuri had seen him mere seconds before. He lifted his graceful arm and waved at Yuuri, who squeaked and whipped his head back around.



He started the journey back, the cat leading the way. The night air was exhilarating, and Yuuri felt so alive. His cheeks started to feel cramped, and he realized giddily that he couldn't stop smiling.


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485 Reviews


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Tue Jun 20, 2017 7:26 pm
Elijah wrote a review...



Hey there! Eli here for a short review of your sweet work! Get ready for a quick one as it is late for the admin here.


I hope that there is more parts to this story because it started to get really interesting. By the way, maybe it is a refrence to the anime Yuri on Ice? I was just thinking about it when Viktor said his own name. I was shook to be honest, not many people would notice it if they are not wild otakus like myself I guess. The story was thrilling, I am up for some sexy gay time, why not? Your choice of yours is stunning, some of them I needed to check because of how complex and exotic they were or just sounded as. But that is no bad thing. It is pretty educational. My only issue is that the first thing Viktor told him was to marry him..what? It was a very interesting scene and I expected it to be more shoking, exciting. Something amazing to happen. Even if the MC was mistaken for the cat for some reason because they have the same name or names that are spelt the same way, why propose to him anyways even if it was or was not a mistake? That does not make it less cute though! I really want part two of this! Anyways, just some minor mistakes and we are done.


Yuuri sighed, foot shaking under his thigh as he kneeled.


As someone before me said, this is a very complex sentence. And I can not really picture it in my mind how it should be happening? Too many simple actions for one part of the body at once.

As he left the garden, a chill ghosted down his spine and he almost turned back, but then chastised himself bitingly.


One I would say as an advice is to shorten your description sentences and cut off some commas. A bit too much it is.

Keep on writing!




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Sun Apr 30, 2017 2:00 pm
papillote wrote a review...



I liked it, I really hope it's not the entire story. It was cute but it was too short. It made me think of a manga, which is a compliment coming from me. I like it when mangakas add a fairytale element to yaois.
I think it was also richer than a manga because we got more of Yuuki's point of view.
If there is one thing that disappointed me, it was Yuuki's utter disinterest in his duties as a prince. Being shy is one thing, being confused and too young is another but he read like he couldn't care less about the war council.




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Mon Apr 24, 2017 11:07 pm
Atticus wrote a review...



Hey there Joelsweet,

I loved this story! It had good, fluid descriptions and a nice theme and plot progression. I do have a couple of pointers, then I'll be on my way.

1)

foot shaking under his thigh as he kneeled
First of all, it's knelt, and also I'm having a hard time picturing this. Not only would his foot not be under his thigh (although that's pretty minor), but I would think it would be his hands trembling. Feet trembling in an uncomfortable position like that would seem unlikely and unnatural
2) I agree with PrincessInk that your transition from the introduction into the main body of the story was a little awkward. It started with a very broad description and then you had to transition into a very specific pose under specific circumstances.
3)
A red-faced man with a wispy mustache and goatee roared and stood up,
I feel like just a bit more description here would be helpful. Maybe say 'A red-faced man. . . roared in outrage and pushed himself to his feet, drawing all eyes to him.' That part is mostly personal preference, so ignore it if you want :)
4)
Yuuri outstretched a hand to pet it, but got hissed at menacingly.
On a grammatical note here, this sentence is a little awkward. It would be better to say 'but the cat hissed at him menacingly.' instead of saying 'got hissed at' because of small grammar nitpicks and the general obstruction of flow.
5) It also seems very strange how Viktor's first topic is marriage. That seems highly unlikely and doesn't make a whole lot of sense for the plot. I feel like there should be a few sentences-- at least-- before the topic of marriage is brought up to ease the readers into this new character.
6)
The cat puffed up, hair standing on end, and hissed. So it could understand human speech? Perhaps it was a spirit of some kind.
This sounds like a bit of a stretch. Just because the cat seems tense does not seem to entail that it was a spirit. It might make sense if Yuri first thought it was possibly a coincidence, then maybe got some sort of bad vibe from the cat and then assumed there was something peculiar about it.
7) At the very end, Yuri's apology after he says 'farewell' seems a little out-of-place. It feels like something would trigger that thought, or at least that he would bother to even introduce himself at this point. He feels a little strange and uncomfortable, so why would he stick around when he had an opportunity to leave?

Overall, this is an amazingly well-done fairy-tale style story. The romance aspect seems a little funny and perhaps hastily done and thrown in there for some added intrigue and suspense, and you did have a developed plot. I assume there is a part two to this, since it didn't really have a definitive ending. If that is the case, I would probably file it as a chapter of a novel rather than a short story. Just a thought.

Best wishes,
MJ




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Mon Apr 24, 2017 6:36 pm
PrincessInk wrote a review...



Hello Joel, I'm cruising through to read your story! It was fun to read a romance between a foreigner and a prince.

The fairytale-style of the beginning was lovely and I am a fan of fairytales, but if you started with that style, I wish I had seen it more in the later parts of the story. It kind of feels disjointed from the rest of the story because the style kind of changed in my opinion. It started with omniscient POV (like a narrator who's not part of the story) and then shifted to close-focus POV for Yuuri. The change was unsettling, you see :)

That transition from the second and third paragraph really jolted me and I think you'll have to work on the shift from the explanation to the real meat of the story. I guess I'm not too fond of "One day, he..." if it's overused, but it fits better than just jumping from expository to narrative.

The description of the clearing in the forest was oh...so lovely. You worked in the imagery splendidly and I don't really have anything to critique about it. I love description, especially of nature, because if it's that kind of ethereal beautiful scene, it's really calming. Your description is really good!

My main issue with this story is when Yuuri met Viktor, the first thing Viktor talked about was....marriage? I was really confused about it because I honestly don't understand why. I feel as if Viktor is a bit childlike and rather lonely and I really like both Yuuri and Viktor. Still, I don't understand the marriage bit, and I was hoping that the dialogue between them would make me comprehend...sadly I didn't.

I saw some undercurrent of Yuuri's possible attraction to Viktor (like the blush and how much he paid attention to every action of Viktor) and I liked the fact that you didn't immediately move them into the lovers' stage. The current was slow, and the open ending made me wonder, Would they have a romantic relationship? I'm just hoping that they can love each other as a couple and also as friends and the happy, open ending was really strong in my opinion. The only complaint I have of this romantic thread is that I don't really see Viktor's side. Would he return the slow kind of attraction? I didn't really see his reactions, though, and I would have liked to see stuff like body actions and all.

Other than that though, your story was really a pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing and I hope you have a great day!

~Princess Ink~




Joelsweet says...


This is actually part one of a story ^^ I'll go into reasons more later. Glad you liked it!~




Brain freezes are temporary, but milkshakes are forever.
— SilverNight