Out to Sea

idk but something about this poem is strangely attractive even if I can't pinpoint what it is . So the poem starts with the person taking a walk on the beach. The the person finds this bottle with the letter and he/she reads and sends it back believing it was not for him'her because maybe, just my guess 'he/she is at the beach to end his/her life? becoz the letter said that it was for a stranger and definetly the person who took it was a stranger but still she/he believed it was not for him/her or my other theory is that the person was expecting a letter from someone else close to him/her but was disappointed at the fact that it was not for him/her. Either was it really nice.

Hello! First, I have to say, I really love this poem. I love rhyming poems, and your rhymes just came off as very effortless. I also really enjoyed the story behind it. This type of poem kind of reminds me of people like Shel Silverstein. Really good!

Now, this is very nit-picky, but I looked it up (God bless Grammarly and Writer's Digest for all the grammar articles they write) and you shouldn't have an apostrophe on "Till". Apparently it's not even an abbreviation of "until" but it's an old word that is used separately to mean the same thing. Nobody's going to come at you with pitchforks for putting an apostrophe on "Till", but I thought it was kind of interesting, so...the more you know!

Overall, I really liked this poem. It was very fun to read, and the rhyming seemed really natural and not forced at all. The narrative was lovely, and your poem just gave me very happy/nostalgic feelings. Keep writing!

ella

I love poetry that begins in a traditional rhyming mode and strives to remain faithful to it as this one does. I a also very fond of narrative poems that tell a story. So right away I was drawn in by this poem which recounts the experience of someone finding a bottle that had been cast to the sea with a message inside.

My favorite part is how the protagonist reacts to the note’s message, by casting the bottle back to sea because he feels that it is irrelevant to his own life. His reaction opens up the poem to multiple interpretations.

1. The bottle-finder’s life might be in extremely bad shape so, his day is already ruined, so he finds the message ironically inappropriate to himself.

2. He or she is already very happy and successful and finds the message far more appropriate for someone who is miserable.

In short, it made me wonder what exactly is the narrator’s situation to have him react in that way. This is good, of course because it provides the poem with interpretational depth.

Suggestions

I was walking down the beach.... [The phrase “one day” is redundant]

foam[.]

having wandered far from home

When I thought I saw a Smucker's jar

floating in the foam[.]
jar to me[.]

I rubbed my eyes but there it was,

bobbing on the sea

'Till a wave rolled over the jagged rocks

and brought the jar to me[.]

[“]Hello stranger,....make it through today.[”]



All in all a very interesting poem. Looking forward to reading more of your work.