Published March 13, 2011
One leg to touch,
Two legs to feel.
Three legs to clutch,
Four legs to reel.
Five legs to creep,
Six legs to crawl.
Seven legs to leap,
Eight legs to haul.
Many legs of evil,
Yet you are so small.
Causing much fear,
As you scale up the wall.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,138 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
Aoow, original, simple but smooth! Love the rythm and flow and no forced rhymes! NICE JOB! I also like how you didn't ever mention the spider in this contenxt and still, only by describing leg by leg you manage to get the reader (or me atleast) to get what you were talking about.. (It was a spider right.. else I'm making a fool out of myself ^^) Anyhows, I always love something original and this was so, well, amazing! I really can't find anything to complain about... for what it was, it was great!
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
I am not a poetry fanatic so I don't really know what to critique you on, but I will try. This was very nice I loved how it went from one to eight that was very clever, sorry I don't really know what else to say beside your a talented poet! SOrry!
~Jenn
I love how you described the spiders. I hate them, I have arachnaphobia, even though when I was a kid I played with the Grandaddy Long legs. I pulled a leg off of one by accident and then can't stand to touch them since. If they're out in the yard, I don't care but not in my house!
I love the one leg for this , second leg for that...Great work! I'm not always a poet but sometimes I write a poem and didn't know it! Hmm?..
I've been in a rhyming mood today. Good job on the poem. I think you clearly described the nasty boogers and it's to the point. I like that ABAB vs. ABCB too. It's noticable but I can see where you used it because the description changed.
aw i love this poem! i absolutely hate spiders they creep me out. i do like the one leg to touch (and so on) part in the beginning i think it makes the poem
Hey Everyone!
Thank you for taking your time to review my poem! I am glad you liked it.
As for the ABAB vs. ABCB I did this on purpose, but I understand why this stands out. The reason I wrote it this way is because in the beginning of the poem I was describing the spider's characteristics (legs) and in the second part I was talking about the spider as a whole.
Also to answer VousEsEtonnant question:
--I did this because I wanted to get the point across (even though it is obvious) that there are eight legs, which is why they are so scary [in my opinion].
Anyways that was a very long explanation to some very simple questions. Thanks again!
-Jessa
Hi there.
This is a very interesting, if not odd poem. It has a well formed structure, but I don't the idea holds much merit. I think it needs a bit of work and attention, maybe try and make your point clearer. I would however like to congratulate you on the good flow and structure.
This poem is actually kind of amusing to me. I personally enjoy spiders, as well as snakes, but that is irrelavent. The one thing that confused me was your begining.
And so on. Why did you pair one leg to touch, two to feel, and so on finishing with eight to haul. I am not sure i quite understand the purpose behind your choice of words, though the act of breaking down the legs like that was brilliant. Putting a phobia into a more personal and simple way was a great idea too. Also, why does the first stanza follow a ABAB pattern but the sevond follows ABCB? that is pretty much it. Otherwise, great job!
Being arachniphobic, I really liked this poem, but I think that the ending could say "Then I squished you" but that thats my opinion. And that was sarcasm.
Anyways, the only thing to crit is that the first stanza's rhyming was ABAB, but the second stanza was ABCB. Was this on purpose?
-WU
--> Aww! Did you know how I hate those little critters (arachids) ?? Err- well, except butterflies. XD geez, anyway, I think your poem's really good and I don't really care about the rhyming stuff (sorry, not really a good poem critic, or something)
love,
CS
Short, but interesting. It took me a second to get what you were talking about, despite the poem's name. It seems like I don't pay attention. The flow is nearly perfect and the rhyme scheme isn't forced. However:
Evil and fear do not rhyme! Ugh, you should be consistent with your ryhmes if you start it!!! Sorry, one of my compulsive things. Also, you should capitalize as if you were telling a story, NOT after every line. This way it looks neater to the reader and he/she knows when it's a different thought. I also believe that (look at quote above) should be another stanza, since it is seperate from the other part.
Otherwise, I love the description of using the legs. It's rather ingenious of you. After all, who has done that yet? The different motions has me visualizing the spider crawling up the wall, hauling and creeping and etc. Good job and I want to read more from you!!