Soaring Oblivion and Maybe, an Escape

Dunno what dear Fandy-Dandy said, but listen to her.

The problem with these is that I can't get into them and I can't feel. Try using more imagery and sensory image especially. Try to pull the reader into the poem, and make them feel apart of it.

Here, this might help you out some: Emotional Poetry.

Hello, Jess! I'd like to preface this by saying that, for a twelve-year-old these are actually very, very good. I can't wait to see what you're writing in a couple of years!

Now on to the criticism, yes?

Never before inside,
Have I felt quite like this.
This blissful, soaring oblivon,
I realize,
Will soon disapear.

"Never before inside..." Hm. The 'before' is superfluous; the fact that you've never felt something before already tells us that before this point, you haven't felt it. See how it's redundant? It also breaks up the flow a bit. "Oblivon" should be "oblivion."

Also, I see that you've fallen prey to the common mentality among young poets that every line must end with either a comma or a period. WRONG! Yes, that's right, Virginia, you can write a line without ending it with a comma. Try this easy exercise to determine where the punctuation should go: take a stanza, remove the line breaks, and write it out as a sentence without changing the wording.

Never before inside, have I felt quite like this. This blissful, soaring oblivon, I realize, will soon disapear.

See how the punctuation doesn't fit? It should be:

Never before inside have I felt quite like this. This blissful, soaring oblivion, I realize, will soon disappear.

Therefore, feel free to take that first comma out. ^~

And how it saddens me to face;
I wish this could stay.
I don't want to have this golden world taken-
Gone away.

Your first line feels incomplete. It saddens you to face... what? What are you facing? Perhaps you meant to use a different word? The last two lines are also a little saccharine and cliched.

Your missions, should you choose to accept them:

Read more poetry. It will help you get a feel for using word choice and syntax, punctuation and line breaks, etc--and if you find a poet you particularly like, it's always beneficial to start off by imitating their style (though never plagiarizing poems) and then branching off from there.

Practice that punctuation thing. It'll help, I promise.

Try using more imagery. Poetry is always more powerful if you're showing the reader, not telling the reader. Take this (crappy) example, for instance, based on a Celtic song:

"I shall die, I shall die," this dear captain cried,
"If I can't have that maid on the shore."

vs.

And this dear captain fell in love with the maid on the shore.