“Bring a book,” they said.
“Just one book,” they said.
“But how can I bring
just one book?” I said,
“when all I have
inside my room
are lots
and lots of books
from toe
to head?”
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Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,827 Reviews
Nice, short ans fricken cute. Like the idea of just having too many stories to choose from
Hey there! Well, I definitely relate to this one (as would most people on this website, to be honest). I'm one of those people who can't go anywhere without a book, to the occasional annoyance to those around me. Yet, picking one is never an easy task and you cover that very well in this short, but sweet poem. I can't specifically name the emotions this situation brings forth, but you duplicate them impeccably.
I'm trying to think of at least one suggestion of how you could improve, but am failing so bravo to you! Instead I'll just ask your opinion on a "fix" to this dilemma: ebooks. This is my personal go to for reading away from home, and even more so at home recently. As a college student, and lover of traveling I'm constantly going from one place to another, but as an AVID reader I usually finish a book in a day or two meaning one book never lasts me an entire trip. With the kindle app I can bring dozens of new books with me, good oldies and new gems, everywhere. But ebooks do lack a certain... something that a real paper book provide. If you also have tried ebooks maybe you can write a poem about them to voice this different dilemma haha.
Anyway hopefully this 'review' is somewhat helpful to you, even if just to give you some praise and confidence.
Slainte
Good morning/afternoon/evening/night! I'm Vilnius, and I'll be reviewing your poem today/tonight! c:
“Bring a book,” they said.
Ah, yes, the age-old issue that comes with collecting books over the years and then never being able to decide what to take somewhere to read! Such a problem has perplexed the brains of book lovers over the many centuries. I believe, deep down in my heart, that the inventor of the online audiobook was a reader themselves with this exact problem. Now, they can carry around hundreds, maybe thousands, of books and never have to think about it again! XD
Unless they can't decide what to read, in which case there has not been a cure created for that issue. ;-;In all seriousness, though, this poem made me smile because it's very relatable and easy to connect with.There were a few punctuation errors that I noted. I'll put the revised form in spoilers so that way the page doesn't stretch on for ages. :P
Spoiler
“Just one book,” they said.
“But how can I bring
just one book?” I said,
“when all I have
inside my room
is lots and lots of books
from top to ground?”
Now, moving on to word choice, you have a subject-verb issue in using "is" with "books." It should be "all I have inside my room are lots and lots of books." I would also think about changing the "I said" to "I asked" as the narrator is posing a question instead of a statement.
I hope that this review was helpful to you, and I hope that you have a blessed [*insert time of day here*]!!!
P.S. Thank you for being me 300th Review! c: