Published March 22, 2010
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139,524 Literary Works • 672,598 Reviews
Ooh, me like very muchish!!
If you couldn't tell from my first sentance, this little review is not going to bother with that horrible thing called ... grammer.
Anywho, yes, I loved it! I liked the feel of the scene (the way you described the morning, and such. Oh! I knew exactly what you were talking about!) and the characters. They seemed very THERE. You know? Quite real and lifelike, I was impressed by that.
I thought that the bit about the bus was a little cunfuzzling, but I'm sure that was just me and had nothing to do with your writing.
Keep writing! I loved it and will be waiting for more!
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Very good! I saw one comma where it shouldn't be there (Somewhere up in the first paragraph) otherwise nothing else!
I really liked it, can't wait for the next one.