staring at white washed walls
biting torn lips, she stands
begging herself to fight it
fight herself and not lose
mirror mirror on the wall
you see it shining amongst it all
wounded scars that glow on her skin
screams that leave her throat in silence
bleeding bruises on shattered cracks
pearly crystals leave corners of her watery eyes
she flinches not from the dark surrounding of cloudy nights
when the nightmares shadow her in crimson daylight
icy grip
monsters under bed
voices calling inside her head
creatures darker than black shapes
claws pass through her like rusted nails
blindfolded as the darkness roars
roses aren't red,
violets aren't blue,
smiles aren't real,
happiness isn't true.
she hid all her pain behind the smile, she hid all her pearly crystals behind those laughing eyes.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
Wow.
I truly enjoyed this. I am no poet so as a reader I was going to read a bit and then stop but I just couldn't stop reading. This truly seems from the heart. (That being said you are ok right?) Just asking to make sure because this is just a beautiful piece and full of emotion and feeling but something like this must truly come from the heart and possibly experience. Anyway your vocabulary and way of writing this made it flow and made me feel some emotion. Keep up the great work and make sure you have a great day!
Ethan.
Hi! Hannah here for a quick review. Hope you are having a great day!
Grows:
none! This was one of the best poems ever.
Glows:
WOW. This poem was AWESOME!!! I don't normally go this crazy about poems but... Just wow.
This, I feel like, very well conveys what it is like to have PTSD. Also, I loved the last stanza.
"roses aren't red,
violets aren't blue,
smiles aren't real,
happiness isn't true."
That was a very clever rhyme.
Also, this stanza:
mirror mirror on the wall
"you see it shining amongst it all
wounded scars that glow on her skin
screams that leave her throat in silence
bleeding bruises on shattered cracks
pearly crystals leave corners of her watery eyes".
It was very painful, and really just beautiful. I have said it before, but this is an amazing, well written poem! I hope you had a merry Christmas, a happy New Year, that you keep writing and have a great day!
hannah
Wow, this is beautiful!! So, I am in no way a poet so I will review this from a reader's perspective.
You convey the struggles and emotions very well in this poem. I can feel her pain as though it is tangible. I love the imagery with the mirrors and with the bed.
The only possible suggestion I have, which is so minor and in fact could not exist, is the lack of consistency in both the flow and structure of the poem. It made it somewhat awkward to read and I couldn't fall into the lull I usually can while reading poetry. Now, the reason I say this suggestion cannot exist is because that might've been intentional. A poem about PTSD, which is an uncomfortable topic and also results in high stress levels and spikes of trauma that make routine difficult, this inconsistency may be purposeful and if so, props to you. If you did mean the inconsistency as a way to set a more unsure and disarming tone, then I love it.
Sincerely,
Mordax