Dear You

by Jannie

Published September 13, 2008


Dear you.
You know very well how I feel.
And you know I can’t throw that away.

Dear you.
You know that I lie awake at night.
Replaying everything that’s happened.

Dear You.
You know I’d give you the world if I could.
Solve all your worries and problems.

Dear You.
You know I want you to make me happy.
Because you’re the only one that actually can.

Dear You.
You know you make smile with the little things.
But did you know you made me cry without any effort?

Dear You.
You know you can break my heart, and you did.
But did you know you could piece it back together?

Dear You.
You know that I’m pathetically lost in your eyes.
But that’s because I’m so enamored by you.

Dear You.
I’m all out of dear you’s.
But I’m still not out of I love you’s.

Comments & reviews · 7
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dustyblonde004 Comment
dustyblonde004 commented Comment · Jan 6, 2009

That was really good!!! I liked it a lot!

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MollyKamikaze Review
MollyKamikaze wrote a review Review · Jan 5, 2009

Three out of Five stars.
Good job.

I personally don't like the repetition of "You", I find You to be a very hardened and finite word for someone you're describing to be almost holy in your eyes.
Some lines are weak, the ones where you're trying to explain to "You" how they can help you don't have the strength in emotion I look for.
Some of the lines don't fit the mood quite right, the general mood is a sense of hopelessness, yet there are times where you gain confidence.
I can relate to this poem, it reminds me of a dream.

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lukas8u
Review
lukas8u wrote a review Review · Jan 5, 2009

Hm... I like it, I like it a lot, and that's saying something since I normally throw up/gag when I read romantic poetry.
Partly it's because it's a bit different. The free verse and repetition fits the poem well.
The one thing I would change is the "you" part. It makes it feel like the person is stiff with her lover.
Perhaps Dear Lover?
Are you going to do an I love you poem?
:lol:

95/100 plus a Gold star

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Explosive_Pen
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Explosive_Pen wrote a review Review · Jan 4, 2009

The repetition of "Dear you" actually works in this poem. Congrats on pulling it off! Like tennisprincess said, some lines were a lot stronger than the others, so maybe figure out a way to let them stand alone?
I loved the last line. It just completely summed up the whole poem. Overall, great job. Gold star for you.

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thewritingdoc
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thewritingdoc commented Comment · Jan 4, 2009

Eh, it's not bad.
Some lines were a lot better than others and the ending was just ok for me.

It's not bad, all in itself.

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MissAngle
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MissAngle commented Comment · Sep 13, 2008

Very good I like it :D



Don't aim at success--the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself.
— Viktor E. Frankl