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Hi Janhvi! Hannah/Star here for a review using the YWS S'more method. I hope that it's helpful!
Top Graham Cracker: Impressions/Interpretations
This is a beautiful poem about not being afraid to dream. I loved the rhyming and how positive and happy and true it was! I love how inspirational it is, especially the last stanza. Great job on this!
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow (things to improve):
There were a few typos and grammatical mistakes in it. I recommend reading it out loud to yourself-that's super helpful and helps me catch a lot of mistakes-or there are websites where you can copy and paste it and it will read it out loud for you. That is easier, I think, because sometimes we accidentally skip over lines our words. I feel like you could also put hyphens instead of commas for some of them, and there were some letters that were capitalized unnecessarily. I'll point out a few things:
All of the underlined letters are things that you could make lowercase, and the s that I emboldened should be added.
The wonderful AilahEvelynMae who already reviewed this already poem pointed things out, but those were just little nitpicks I thought you could change. Again, you have your own personal style and you are the writer, so take my advice with a grain of salt.
Chocolate bar (things I liked)
To be honest, I liked everything. It was inspirational, happy, positive, and well written. I loved the rhyme scheme and how lighthearted it was. The message is also a great one-don't be afraid to dream. It takes a lot of talent to write a poem like this-great job! I loved the line:
This is such a powerful poem and I loved it so much!
Bottom Graham Cracker-Closing thoughts
Overall this was a beautiful poem and you are a great writer. I hope you have a great morning/afternoon/evening/night wherever you are and that this review is helpful!
Hannah
Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Let's jump right into it!!
Good morning, friend! Ellie here to leave a quick review on your wonderful poem, Dreameror
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
Let's begin with my impressions and my interpretation.
First of all, I am so impressed with the rhyme scheme in this poem! I myself love writing rhyming poetry so this this stood out to me. I think that you executed all of the rhymes extremely well.
I love the message that this poem conveys. It is filled with hope. I love the statement:
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
Here are a couple of minor suggestions for you!
I noticed that every single line in the poem begins with a capital letter, except for the second line.
compared to all of the other lines, even the ones with commas, that look like this:
the line:
also threw me off because it is the first line in the poem that does not follow the rhyme scheme.
There were also a couple of lines that didn't quite flow in the same rhythm as the rest of the poem:
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
Overall, I love the rhyme scheme that you used int the beginning of the poem. I love the bold statements and the message I got from this. I love the name as well, Dreameror.
I found the last part quite powerful:
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Thank you for posting this lovely poem!! I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day!
Ellie Mae
Thank you for your Review %u2764