Hi Janhvi! Hannah/Star here for a review using the YWS S'more method. I hope that it's helpful!
Top Graham Cracker: Impressions/Interpretations
This is a beautiful poem about not being afraid to dream. I loved the rhyming and how positive and happy and true it was! I love how inspirational it is, especially the last stanza. Great job on this!
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow (things to improve):
There were a few typos and grammatical mistakes in it. I recommend reading it out loud to yourself-that's super helpful and helps me catch a lot of mistakes-or there are websites where you can copy and paste it and it will read it out loud for you. That is easier, I think, because sometimes we accidentally skip over lines our words. I feel like you could also put hyphens instead of commas for some of them, and there were some letters that were capitalized unnecessarily. I'll point out a few things:
Dreamer is the one who dream,
Other hand Conqueror is the one who conquers them.
Become a DREAMEROR & Conquer your dreams.
Be a fire not a blaze & Dream it as you are born for it.
All of the underlined letters are things that you could make lowercase, and the s that I emboldened should be added.
The wonderful AilahEvelynMae who already reviewed this already poem pointed things out, but those were just little nitpicks I thought you could change. Again, you have your own personal style and you are the writer, so take my advice with a grain of salt.
Chocolate bar (things I liked)
To be honest, I liked everything. It was inspirational, happy, positive, and well written. I loved the rhyme scheme and how lighthearted it was. The message is also a great one-don't be afraid to dream. It takes a lot of talent to write a poem like this-great job! I loved the line:
Never be a pessimist and feel unlucky,
Your dream and its power is door of your key.
This is such a powerful poem and I loved it so much!
Bottom Graham Cracker-Closing thoughts
Overall this was a beautiful poem and you are a great writer. I hope you have a great morning/afternoon/evening/night wherever you are and that this review is helpful!
Hannah
Points: 2211
Reviews: 93
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