Published November 30, 2010
Bacon sizzles on the skillet.
Plates clatter against polished oak.
Mama slips her feet into soft moccasins.
Johnny hits his fist against the high chair.
Someone passes the orange juice.
Milk drains down my throat.
Daddy opens the business section of the New York Times.
I swallow.
Pancakes are packed onto a dish.
The maple syrup is cold.
Aunt Meg starts talking about the Macy's sale.
Granny takes out her dentures.
Secretly everyone wants everyone else to shut up.
I spread margarine on my toast in even strokes.
Uncle Jimmy compliments my jumper.
I thank him.
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140,552 Literary Works • 673,424 Reviews
I really, really liked this one. Even though there's not that much imagery, I was fully immersed in the scene. I think this one appeals to nearly everybody because nearly everybody can relate to it. Well done.
I liked the feeling of this poem. You do a good job of putting the reader into the situation that you're portraying. I was grateful for the line "Secretly everyone wants everyone else to shut up.", as it provides a bit of a refreshing change from the "this happened then this happened" style of the poem. It also injected a bit of humor into the poem, which really enhances it.
My only criticism is that the poem doesn't really have an ending. It just abruptly stops, which left me wanting a more complete picture.
Other than that, very nice job.
I really liked this poem, because it is a story told simply, and without flowery wording. I find that a lot of people crowd out the potential power of their poems because they want to have all this extravagant description, and you really managed to find the perfect balance. The small details that you include made the poem feel very real. I almost felt like I was in the room, watching how everyone interacted.
This made me laugh.
Your family sounds like a lot of fun. I wish that I had family breakfasts more often.
Good job!
I really enjoyed this! For one, it was so.. true like the raw truth but told so beautifully in its simplicity. Okay, maybe that didn't make any sense but there you go.
No edits, keep it the way it is.
Something about the ending is just fantastic, I love it!
Keep up the good work
Aww, I love love love this one . Considering the fact that I never really have breakfast with my family anymore but I'd like to picture it which i was able to
I love bacon by the way 
I liked it because i love breakfast and my family 
You did a great job on this <3