Published October 26, 2010
I like getting my anger out through poetry (and stories of course). I hope you enjoy my linguistic fury! -Jane
You're insignificant
On the map of the world spread out for humanity to see.
You're a speck of dust
On this planet of six billion,
Where no one would care
If you thought the Earth was flat,
And fell off the side
And died.
"I'm special."
Pfffffttttt!
You're about as special as
Wal-Mart underwear
That's all yeasty -
YUM!
Do me a favor:
Get your so called life
Out of mine
Por Fabor?
Merci beaucoup!
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140,752 Literary Works • 673,686 Reviews
First off, I really liked this poem. I really liked the angry tone of it, and really it was just awesome. So all I have are nitpicks and not really anything that constructive. Sorry. ^^
I think you might mean Por Favor here. Probably just a typo.
I agree with Calligraphy here that this line is too long. But that's a really easy fix.
However, I disagree about cutting the "Earth is flat" line. That was actually my favorite part, and I think it worked really well.
So, basically, this poem was really fantastic and all I found wrong with it were nitpicks. Sorry for not giving a more helpful review.
~Tigress
This is a great place, called Will Review For Food, for asking for reviews. People are begging to review you.
But, the best way to get more reviews is, review, review, and review some more yourself. The more people see you around and the longer you are on the site the more people will review you. XD
A. S.
I hate when I work hard on a poem and I only get one review.
Could I get another? Please?
Yeah, this is an awesome poem, and besides my comments I guess I don't have much to say.
Wish I could help you,
A. S.