Shrub: Oh vile day!
Befouled by mine enemy, and that of my father.
He that seeketh to divide mine people
Though divided they already are.
Through air, by land, and by sea
Cometh he in many forms.
And yet, he shall not prevail.
Mine wits are strong and I shall not be
The same coward as mine father
Who lay with mine and his enemy.
Good day, Father! Suggest you not what mine actions should be.
To a decision have I already come.
Senior: Oh good son, wilt thou not listen to me?
My experience outweighs yours;
I know that of which I speak.
Shrub: Thou knowest too well Father, and that is thy problem.
Bin Laden was thy friend, now he is mine enemy,
And thine as well.
Senior: Oh Shrub, woe upon thee!
Thou lacks experience and knowledge of he
That would betray you, given the chance.
And yet, here you give me this sad, ancient tug-of-war dance.
A power struggle between father and son
Unfitting of president of the nation which thou hast just won!
Shrub: Quiet, dear Father, you know not that of which you speak!
My advisors, so dear to me, have told me just what to think!
I will run this country in my own special way
Do not challenge me with your tired, old say.
Senior: If that be how you feel, then perhaps I best be gone.
But I warn thee now:
If thou doth continue down this tangled path
Treachery will destroy you for the knowledge you lack.
Shrub: Goodnight, dear Father, I do bid thee well.
But what will be, only the history books will tell!
Shrub: And now, to tomorrow must I go
To tend to my people’s newly found woe.
Cheni: Believest thou that this will work?
Such trickery will surely be discovered!
Rum: Thou knowest not our dear leader’s heart
His religious faith hath he down to an art.
Deception will claim him quite quickly indeed
For he knows not but what hast been told to him.
Cheni: Then speak we now, and get it done
Before upon our shadowy faces sets the rising sun
Incriminating us for our loathsome deeds.
May the Shrub never know that we use him as we please!
Rum: Here, come thee now
We’ll speak into this vent
And from the words he hears now, he will never dissent.
Cheni: Aye, then must we indeed.
Shrub, this is God, canst thou hear me?
Shrub: (Voice) Aye, indeed I do, and I am so pleased!
That thou, my holy Lord, would take time for me!
To lead me down my path, and give me direction untainted
By the words of my father, a man quite jaded.
I shall never be he, so tell me now
What I can do to please thee, my Lord; I would make any vow!
Cheni: Thou must wage a great holy war
Against mine enemy Bin Laden and yours.
But stop not there; in fact, forget him.
It is Sadaam Hussein you must fight and win.
Shrub: (Voice) Sadaam Hussein? Who is he?
A minion of Bin Laden’s, no doubt?
Cheni: Think what you wish, and to the people claim
That my words are guiding thee on this holy crusade.
Against Sadaam Hussein, friend to Bin Laden
Who cowers beyond your reach, plotting once more.
And for that will you win the people’s love
And undying fear.
Shrub: (Voice) Oh God, how graciously I thank thee!
For giving to me to the nation’s souls a great key.
I will do as thou sayest, and put Bin Laden aside
To focus on his minion Hussein.
Cheni: Then goest thou to it, and while you are there
Swear blood oaths against mine other enemies.
Let no homosexual marry,
Let no abortions reign.
Silence the masses, if against you they do speak out
With words of my wisdom--spread my words throughout!
Shrub: Oh dear God, shall I heed your commands!
With the great dignity and loyalty thou doth demand.
And fear not that I shall let thee down.
No one shall stir me from the path thou hast for me laid out.
Shrub: To my people, I do now proclaim
A society where mine word doth supremely reign.
Soldiers, go thus! To Iraq, go thee
To silence mine--er--thine enemy Hussein, who doth wish to flee!
Bringeth he weapons of mass destruction upon this front
To assist Bin Laden in eliminating us.
Cheni: (Whispered) Speaketh thou more, oh royal Shrub;
Demand of thy people their complete and utter trust.
Shrub: Believe not what thou might hear;
The media doth lie.
In cahoots with the terrorists,
Those liberal liars doth conspire.
Seek only me out and I will give you just advice.
I know what I am doing
And since thou hath elected me
I command thee, trust me now!
Kerry: Oh President Shrub, here’s a question I doth have:
Why goeth we to Iraq
When the enemy is clearly at hand
In the gloomy shadows of Afghanistan?
Shrub: Oh question me not, thou disloyal liberal traitor!
The Lord hath guided me upon this holy quest.
He speaketh to me, and of me doth he demand
Our presence in the bitter, Iraqi sand.
Kerry: But President Shrub, I hath another query--
Shrub: Police, take him away; he makes me grow weary!
(Police drag Kerry away)
Shrub: Now, without interruption, I shall continue.
Question me not; my judgment is sound.
Sadaam Hussein, we will soon impound.
And then will we continue to seek out Bin Laden.
To capture these enemies of the state
Is my most unenvied fate.
Citizen 1: Here continues this war wrought by the President Shrub
Taking lives by the hundreds.
Warriors lost to the sands of foreign lands
Against us do our international brothers ban.
Citizen 2: One year ago did they for us weep and pray
And now instead they search for the day
When come we to our senses
And oust our most vile president, the vengeful Shrub.
Citizen 3: Oh most black day! What news have we
From across the great and barren sea.
Citizen 1: Oh! What now?
More citizens lost?
Citizen 3: Aye, indeed. Spout I this most mournfully:
Another day, another death
Oh, pity on the life of this country!
To cackle at danger and heartlessly fling its troops about
To fulfill only a vengeance
To mark another crusade.
In what century does this man, the Shrub, choose to reign?
Citizen 2: No century but that of medieval times.
Raising hands against those that would counter his ‘Christian values.’
Hah! If that is what morality doth be
Than I would rather immoral be.
Citizen 1: Aye, indeed. Oh dark day in which we live
When this wretched moral counter doth spin
Replacing the words of our forefathers
With the so-called words of God.
But, alas, what God is this?
That would want us to fight and die so?
That would create children and then their livelihoods scorn?
That would prefer suffering to contentment?
This is no God of mine
That the Shrub doth follow and to Him create a shrine.