Published May 18, 2011
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Hi, Sporks! Thank you for reviewing this chapter. I really value the opinion of everyone on this site and am extremely glad when people decide to view my work. Yeah, I've gone over this story over and over, and Kate does get away too easily. It seems...almost fake in a way. I'll work on that. As for her not getting involved with the authorities, that's still to come. I didn't completely leave out the law, which I'm sort of surprised that I didn't. Thanks again! I really appreciate your critique.
Hi there, Jace! I'm SporkPunk, and I'll be reviewing this today. I haven't read your other chapter, but after reading this I want to.
Technical Stuff
"Inadvertently." Also, I think since something that occurs inadvertently conveys a sense of accident, you might want to change the word. Perhaps "absentmindedly."
Just a simple grammar correction.
Kate now seems kinda...not-so-smart because a vase worth a billion dollars would have some significance and she thought it was no different.
Agh! This is really cliche, first off, and second insisting isn't quite the connotation you're going for, I don't think. I think she'd be more fervent.
Plot
Okay, so I can't say anything about the events preceding. However, it seems that Kate got away extremely, unrealistically easily. This isn't a good thing. You should perhaps show more of a struggle, or realize that Oliver would call the authorities and they'd be able to track her down eventually.
So, overall, you're good on grammar but there were a couple places that could have used work. Also, the plot is interesting though not entirely realistic.
Keep writing!
Sporks