Published August 11, 2011
PARSONS
There “Parsons” stood, caked in dust and engulfed by plumes of industrial smoke, which crawled upwards from amongst the thousands of workers on the metal grating below. My gaze continued past and beyond the weary worker, further into the machine.
“Progress.” I paid the guide and their elastic grin no notice, feeling my eyes soften, my lips moisten and my core flutter as Parsons once more passed into my vision. I grasped the guide’s arm roughly, cutting short their rehearsed words.
***
“The Intelligent Automaton Equal Rights Act (1969)”. My mouth curled into a smile as I snuggled myself into Parsons’ cool embrace and gazed at the metallic proof of everything I’d worked for, embedded like a square medallion in the brilliant white-washed wall.
Both cool that night, I pulled the covers over our bodies. My practiced hand passed the ever-untouched programmed role switch as I powered down my partner.
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139,434 Literary Works • 672,563 Reviews
Thank you all for the reviews.
Chosenofair, sorry I don't know if you got confused or something but i don't have a signature, and "Parsons" was the ID of the "intelligent automaton" that the human protagonist (irrespective of gender) held strong feelings for.
Tr3x, I'm glad you asked about the time period. It is an alt-history, but the details of that are irrelevant to the contest purpose - to convey "challenging gender roles". In my mind, it was a sort of malformed steam or chrome-punk setting. Thank you also for understanding it
-Json
Bravo! This was the first thing that made me smile all day.
You are working under a tight word limit, so I'm not going to ask you to change anything. In any case it is a great short piece.
Your descriptions were just subtle and enigmatic enough to challenge the reader. You developed the characters exceptionally well for such a short piece. The main character comes across as feminine and just a little naughty.
Parson, on the other hand, is not developed at all as a character, bu this befits a mechanical man perfectly. The control panel in his chest was a nice touch.
One thing that puzzled me was the setting. If I'm not mistaken, this takes place in 1969? That's a little late for steampunk, and early for futurism. Is this meant to be an alt-history piece? What was your idea of time period?
It kind've reminded me of the movie "Cherry 2000". They're robots used for taking care of the house, and sometimes even sex. Your signature was what reminded me of that, and the character there seemed completely different from the one in the 150 words. The one in the 150 words was almost completely against the idea of these Parsons, while the other character loved them, both in a platonic and a carnal way.
I understand this is a very short piece, but it was a bit confusing. I like your descriptions of the guides, with the elastic smiles. That particular bit of description rang very true. I would like to see this expanded (I'm going to assume that it is already, as it seems to be a familiar topic with you, and "Parsons" seems to be a pretty good name for such a quick story). The whole dueling personalities idea is fascinating, and I think you should follow that line for a while, and maybe have them meet at some point.
Overall, job well done. For such a short story, it was very well-constructed, and the descriptions were quite solid.
Um... My first thought was that this was a book report. Then, I thought about the freedom of slaves. Then, I was worried that it was about something dirty. So, which one is it? Cuz, I can't figure it out! Even with the spoiler. But, it had nice description, and good sentience structure. Keep on writing!!