They are evil
It's not a phase mom
I'm not sure whether I hate or love you
Black voids are all I see
Even though I'm still in my teens
IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM!!
What a do, What it is. Its yo boi comin' at you with a review.Thank you for sharing this really great poem. I thought that it was funny. That I thought was funny was the "It's not a phase mom" parts. It was as if these are things that someone would say to their mothers, and their moms would tell them that they were just going through a phase or whatever.I especially thought that the last lines were funny. The very last part:"IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM!!"Was written as if the teen was getting annoyed with her mom saying that, so it was kinda like her trying to tell her:"Listen mom. This is who I am. This is what I really think. So imma need you to calm down with that 'It's a phase' stuff."That is what I thought about it.Anyway, I really liked this. It was really funny. I hope to read more funny poetry like this from you in the future. Keep up the good work!!~Namjoon~
Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions. Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful. But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.That having been said:Thankx for sharing this poem about the government which calls people evil and then tells its mother that it isn't a passing phase and about random person who also makes a statement about uncertainty in loving someone and also assures the mom that it isn't a phase. In short assuring that the statements are genuine and will be long-lasting. The last line comes across as a shout or an attempt at strong emphasis since it is written in capital letters and is bolded. That gave me the impression that the "mom"involved seems to be in the habit of dismissing everything that the speaker says as merely some phase in his adolescent development. But if that is so, then who is the government's mom in this scenario? Or is the speaker using the government as a heading merely to express how he feels. I think that would be the most reasonable thing to assume.The poem, as I see it, touches on a very strong tendency for humans to be reluctant in tagging humanity or any group displaying evil behavior as merely evil. Instead, sociological excuses are are always proposed as the reasons for the antisocial behavior such as economic deprivation, and defective parental upbringing. The question really is, when are we ever justified in tagging a group of sentient reasoning creatures as evil? Were the aliens in Independence Day evil? Or were they victims of their societal structure which impelled them. If driven by instinctive, can the term evil be applied. Are and evil when they enslave other ants?The poem raises all these issues and they are issues which do merit deep philosophical discussion.suggestionThe Random Person part seems like a heading for the statements that follow it. This gives the impression that the Government part might also be a heading followed by what the government thinks. If indeed this isn't so, then a way should be found to remove that vagueness. Perhaps placing what each one says in quotation marks will clarify that they are indeed statements made by each, one by the government and one by the Random Person.
I swear, it ain't no phase maahm! I wanna have green hair!Gimme back my Xbox!Haha, nice for a laugh. Thanks!
Please don't leave serious reviews it's a joke about how people think they're cool or edgy because *gasp* freestyle. It's a satire.
Please feel free to ignore my advice, it is not intended to offend you or hurt you that is not the intention, it is not meant to make your poem seem bad or demean it or you that said . . .1. What I likedI liked it, period. I most particulerly like the black voids line.2. Flow and styleJust one thing The government,People,They are evilI think that would sound better if you either moved people up with the goverment or add the to people. Finally It seems odd you talk about the goverment then talk about random person etc and also how you keep saying it is not a phase mom. Neither fit with the rest of it.3. Overall and encouragmentAmazing work, over all I loved it and greatly admired it. Just keep on writing!
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