Young Writers Society

Hi. It’s Morgan. Remember how I said that I couldn’t wait to see some of your work? Yeah well I was so happy when I found that this one was by you. So anyway, ready for the review?

First off, I think it was great. I adore Greek mythology. I remember reading Percy Jackson: Son of Neptune in like third grade. That was when I fell in love with Greek and Roman mythology and all of Rick Riordan’ books. They’re amazing, and I see that you’ve pulled off a great poem of the same myths. You started off with a great start and ended the poem pretty interesting. Plus, your vocabulary was outstanding. Good job!

Although, I would considering maybe putting in some punctuation just to organize the poem and maybe separating it into stanzas. If the poem is more of a story-type then the stanza part doens’t have to be necessary, but definitely put in some punctuation. That way the poem would flow more. If. you need help with the stanza part, just put in something that. would be the separation.

Sorry, bad explaining. Here’s an example...

the cat went to the store.
˙˙˙˙
Then it went home.

so you see the dots, right? Yeah, that’s how I do it. I mean, I know it may be weird, but hey, It works! So anyway, I really enjoyed the poem and I loved the idea of using myths. Good job and keep writing!

Hi, it's Joe.

The first thing I want to say is: excellent. Mythology is an interest of mine and I always like to see new approaches.

I think you did a fantastic job at exploring Pandora's psyche and motivations. It's easy to recite a story like this one, but to actually explore it more deeply and make the reader feel it again like they're reading it for the first time is just fantastic.

One thing I note is, mid-poem, you don't use any question marks.

What was Zeus hiding

The secrets of Aphrodite's great beauty

The secrets of the God’s power

Yass, fellow mythology geek <3
Wonderful poem!

Nice twist to the mythological story. Very skillful use of imagery! I find that the accusations against Zeus match perfectly with the accusations that the serpent in Eden made against God. In fact, I once read that the Pandora myth is merely a twisted recollection by post- Flood people of what originally took place in Eden. You know, in the same way that the half god half-humans such as Hercules and Achilles are perhaps recollections of a pre-flood world where the sons of God or fallen angels produced such superhuman offspring called Nephilim.

Suggestions:

When referring to supernatural entities like the ones in Greek mythology, it is customary to always use "gods"" or "god" instead of "God" or "Gods".

Show us how the box is beautiful by describing it. If you just tell us, we can't see it.

Yo idk what happened to my reply.

Alrighty, so first off, I ADORE Greek mythology!! I'm so glad you wrote such a lovely poem about a classic myth. I like how the poem flows- the rhythm created by the spacing is nice. I know most computer programs automatically capitalize each line- was this a problem you encountered or an intentional use of capitalization? Also, I don't think the poem is bad at all the way it is, but separating it into stanzas might help readers. Overall, great job! I really enjoyed this:)

Dang it stanza didn't separate! Oh well sorry about that......