I love writer’s block
I create deadline and goals
However, right when I get serious,
I forget the existence of words
Hello, IvoryRose! This is the first time in my life I've ever tried to review poetry, so this will just be some of my thoughts and possibly the beginning of something great. Firstly, I loved the relatability of this poem. That was one of its strongest points, since I was able to connect with this because I've been through a similar experience. It's a topic that's very familiar and personal to every writer, and your almost sarcastic response to it was very much what a writer would say. One critique I would have for you would be your very last line, 'The joy.' It didn't really have the full dramatic power I think it could have. An idea to change this would be if you said something like, "Oh, the joy!" to give it more oomph and leave the reader with a takeaway from that poem. As a random suggestion (which you should probably not take), you could end it with a sort of call-to-arms. Here's the thinking behind that suggestion-Your first few lines talk about how you planned for it, hinting that you had some struggles but were able to prevail and it wasn't too difficult. You then talk about how your inability to really form intelligent thoughts, phrases, sentences, paragraphs, and pages. So another possible ending would be a call to yourself and others to overcome that struggle and prevail in the writing of your novel. Hopefully this was helpful, even though the last paragraph or so was basically my ramblings about how it could have ended. This was a really lovely little piece, and hopefully I'll see you around with some more poems!Best wishes,MJ
Hey there! Shey here for a review!I heard that this poem took some inspiration from my style of poetry. *eyes sparkle* That fills me with disbelief, because why would someone take inspiration from me?Anyways, onto the review. Obviously, with a short piece like this, there isn't much to say. But, I'll talk about some things anyway.Firstly, I really enjoyed the last line, "The joy." It says a lot about your emotions, feelings, thoughts on what the poem discusses. The plain line, with the period at the end, just screams "I am done with this." Periods generally are used to complete a sentence, so I felt like you using one at the end of the poem wraps it up nicely.Now, my comment is that the grammar is mostly correct. I've got a suggestion, which you can take it or leave it, and either way I won't be offended. But, in this piece, you complain about your inability to write. Now, poetry doesn't require proper writing rules, such as capitalization of i's, etc. So, you could use improper grammar, such as lower case i's, to really show that you aren't up for writing, seeing as you aren't even writing properly. It's up to you, but you could consider.Anyways, great piece! (Thank you for taking inspiration from me, I'm touched.) Keep up the great work!
Dear IvoryRose,First of all, I like the play you set here. The whole "I Love Writer's Block" and the fact that you've told YWS you would post every week, so you use writer's block to make yourself a poem. Fascinating. But, this is a review. So, I should forget the laugh-out-loud irony of the poem, and get on reviewing. Even though I enjoy the irony.I noticed that there is punctuation at the end of the 3rd line, though there isn't on any of the others. I'm not sure if you did this purposely or not, but I kind of wonder if it is so necessary being there, and if it is, is it necessary that the rest should also be punctuated? I don't know, it looked a little off to me. But that could just be me. Who knows.I was a little confused by the last line "The joy." The joy of what? The joy of the existence of words? Of forgetting the existence of words? Or of writer's block altogether? I feel as though punctuating the 4th line would make the last line a little clearer. I'm fairly sure that you were trying to say "the joy" as though looking back at the poem, like "oh, the joy of writer's block" in a sarcastic tone. Though reading it at first, I wasn't entirely sure...Anywho, I hope these notes were helpful from a reader's perspective. Have a good day/night! Keep writing poetry! (It's my favourite *wink*)Sincerely, Bailey Matwiiw
110,067 Literary Works • 586,735 Reviews