Lisa

Its a gud story. but there ws very little of horror in it.

I like the ending a lot! Your tone suits the work perfectly and your diction is great because it helps with the childish, ignorant narration. Good story and I hope you try writing more in this manner. Keep up with the good work

To Ivion,

Wow!! I like it!
I love how you've portrayed Lisa. She seems small and innocent, but very intelligent.
The only problem is (And I blame my curiosity for this) that I don't know what Lisa is, and I want to. Is she a ghost? A spirit? A demon? Or is she really just a figment of the characters imagination? Is it really the character that did all those things, and the only explanation could be Lisa. I'm not asking you to tell me what Lisa is, I'm just telling you what I think.
But, I do love the way Lisa says Mrs. Monroe and dad are asleep like Lisa's dad. It gives that extra push to horror, and really does creep me out. And the character, the poor child, has no idea what Lisa means.
You did a good job of descriptions, and your wording is good. There is very little description of the settings and characters, so I have very little images in my head when I read this, but that's the beauty of the work, I suppose. I love the simplicity of the writing too, but with the deeper meanings embedded in there when Lisa is involved.
You've done a great job, and I'd love to read more of your work in this style!!
Sage

What attracted me to this work despite its youth in the green room is the creepypasta label. I've always found them interesting. Anyway, I've read through your work and I must say, it's pretty well done. I am The Raven and I will be reviewing your work at this moment. My review will be divided between What is Good and What Needs Improvement/Suggestions. Now, let's get down to business.

What is Good:
1) Authenticity - I can see where you're coming from right from the beginning. You're simulating the writing style of a child, and I believe you've pulled it off pretty well. The simpler language (in comparison to an adult's grasp, or a professional/academic's), the innocence shown through the inability to describe dark happenings... The highly physical/visual description and emotional tone works well together to produce this. Well done!

2) Furthermore into the effects of simplicity... By doing this, you're allowing space for the reader to fill in the gaps between the lines, and it is effective. What happened to Lisa's dad? What happened to Mrs Monroe and the protagonist's father? Who left the presents? I've had fun piecing together what actually happened. Nice work.

What Needs Improvement/Suggestions:
1) The form of the story is threadbare. For the moment it is a 1st person limited narrative. Yet at the same time, it seems to share some elements with the epistolary format - which means a story conveyed through letters, documents, pamphlets and more recently, emails, text messages and any realistic mediums. Especially the 'Dear Lisa' part, which was a letter, yes? I believe you should steer this story towards either an epistolary or a more conventional 1st person limited narrative (but at the same time preserving the child's style).

2) The length of the story, I'm afraid, leaves more to be desired. It is not a short story, but a flash fiction. What you have is a story that spans days, if not weeks, and the plot is about Lisa, a ghost-like figure, which is complicated. There is so much more you could put in while at the same time preserving the spirit of the short story. Why not give us more snippets of how life is like with Lisa? What are your protagonist's thoughts and emotions as she lives with Lisa? Tell us more.

3) You pushed the Lisa concept out of the bag pretty fast, right in the beginning of the story. I feel that this is a mistake. Fear and tension could be had if you let it occur to your readers instead. Just from the first paragraph alone, we knew right off the bat that she is a supernatural entity, possibly a ghost, and her father is 6 feet under. The only revelation is just how powerful she is, which does not have much power on its own, as it isn't new and original that ghosts can be powerful.

That's all I got for now. I hope my review helps. Keep working on this, and keep writing. This is already very well done, and if you keep at it, I'm sure it'd be undeniably amazing.

I found this very creepy and I liked the twists when the teacher and her Dad disappeared. I liked it

The ideas behind this piece are very strange - but in a good way.
The piece was intriguing, but didn't make complete sense. Why did Mrs Monroe and your unnamed protagonist's father just die? It wasn't explained.
I know this is part of the 'creepy' feeling, but unless you are going to write a sequel, I would give a little more away to the author so it's clarified.
Imaginary friends are a good way of shaping your story; and I am guessing your protagonist is quite young, judging by the type of language used and the references to 'Barbie'.
Tiny point there, Barbie is a name of something (a noun) so it should have a capital letter in your text.
Overall, I liked this piece... I would suggest an edit, maybe add a few extra details and make the ending a bit clearer. Otherwise... a very dramatic piece of dark fiction.
Good job!

Nice ending and interesting premise but reading this was quite hard. It was just so mundane and devoid of any emotion. It felt longer than it was. Also, try to be more descriptive in order to create imagery. I know its a short story, but I still think that its important to create an environment that the reader can emerse himself in. You made a few grammar mistakes that I would'nt consider to be acceptable.