There is something wrong in my family. We are the Hartfords, so you would probably think that I am lying. We own that big house on Mapleberry Avenue, where the sun shines down in all the front windows in the morning and there are trees lining the street. It’s just Mom, Dad, Easton, me, and Emmaline, in that nice order. Easton plays football, Emmaline can sing, and I paint.
After all, we are the Hartfords. Being talented, popular, and smart are just in our name. Mom and Dad are both scientists, well-known ones that go to balls and talk smart-people talk to other geniuses. Us three kids, well we do what kids do – go to high-end boarding schools and come home for lunch instead of eating the snazzy food at school.
Does this tell you anything about my life? It should. I am Delilah Skye Hartford, destined to be the painter that will have critics raving. But still, there is something wrong with my family. Have you guess it yet? If not, well, you will in a minute. Wait, maybe you did. But you just haven’t formed it into something bad. We, the Hartfords, are…
Serial killers?
Drug addicts?
Perfect?
Ding, ding, ding, you got it! We, the Hartfords, are perfect. That’s what is so wrong with us. Mom and Dad never had affairs with somebody else, Easton doesn’t cheat on tests, and Emmaline and I are brilliant young ladies who never stepped out of line, unlike some families.
Well, okay, we stepped out of line. Once. It wasn’t a big deal, but we had to. I mean, to preserve the life of Easton, Emmaline and I…well, we…we…
Never mind; let me tell you from the beginning.
End of chapter
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139,445 Literary Works • 672,564 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Alright, I have a few mixed feelings on this particular start here. I can sense the kind of voice that you seem to be attempting here, it sounds like you're trying to have this one member of the family talk of the family as its a bad one and then sort of indicate why that sort of thing is not a thing that most people would ever assume of the family...but this comes off a bit too much like an info dump here. The flow of the piece is a bit clunky there, and it doesn't quite work, it sounds a bit awkward.
OKay...that went in a different direction there, it looks like the girl here is trying to hint at something about her family being rotten on the inside and very much trying to imply this to the reader, but at the same time she doesn't seem to want the reader to think the worst of her family, its a little bit contradictory sounding there, but what I do like is how the flow in this part is just much better.
Okay...so this one just ends up flexing on everybody about how perfect the family is and just kind of contradicts the whole opening statement there, so I feel like this whole thing just went nowhere and only was an excuse to talk about the amazing achievements of everyone in the family, which is a bit of a weird start. The only part that was genuinely intriguing is that ending, where it appears something slightly shady went down there and she's about to tell us the long story that lead to whatever shady secret that is. That ending does at least make you want to find out more about what is going on here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
I like this already, it was a catchy beginning and it has a super powers feel well after all they are 'perfect' I wonder how that is going to work out. And I like the title made me laugh, It has good potential seems quirky and fun but also that it's gonna have some craziness go on. So write some more I want to see what unfolds!
i liked your prologue of the novel and i think it is an excellent beginning. there is a lot of places where the reader has to infer and yes, i want to read more! i think you have to polish it teeny bit more though to make it perfect!
Hey There!
I really like the way you've opened up your story- right away I can sense that the narrator is down to earth and that always helps- especially in a prologue, because often I find Prologues to be boring and sometimes pointless. Yours, however, was not boring in any way.
It was well written throughout, and you left just enough suspense at the end to make me wonder what's going to happen in this book.
Keep writing... I look forward to reading more!
-Briggsy
I loved all of the details. I had to wonder about nothing! which I often find to be a problem with other people's writings. They always have me wondering. But I love this story, keep it up.
LUV IT <3 right. so. The description of the mom was really funny
and the restaurant setting was good. lovely food. and poor autistic kid 
You could really feel the tension in the air when they started talking about the schools. Awesome. You kind of left the ending at a cliff hanger. You should add another chapter to find out how the siblings work out the emotional issue going on there. 
I like the describing of the mother and how you described it all good work please make some more soon.