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A storm is on its way

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This is just a little scene I wrote a few years ago after being prompted with the sentence: A storm is on its way. I might extend this to a little story, but I don't know if it will be worth it?

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A storm is on its way. I can clearly see it in his eyes. The anger which glittered in his dark gray eyes reminded me of lightnings illuminating the cloudy sky with boundless energy and power. He was extremely calm, his breathing deep and strong, his eyes the only things revealing his true feelings. The calm before the storm. This saying got a new meaning to me this second. I could see he was trying very hard to control his rage but I also saw that he was fighting a losing battle.

An insanely inhuman growl escaped his lips and it echoed through my veins just as thunder through the clouds. I was beyond feeling scared. I was just waiting for him to finally explode and let all this energy that was bottling up inside him out. I was certain that it would be more than just a little storm, it would be a thunderstorm, a tornado. His figure was now shaking and I was frozen to the spot in front of him. I wanted to run, I wanted to be anywhere but here, but I knew that he was expecting me to be a coward like all the other times and I knew it would infuriate him even more. So I remained silent as I was watching him. And he was watching me, waiting for my next move. The tension in the room was so strong that you could almost see sparks fly. The electricity between us crackled. I didn't even dare to breath, fearing that it would cause him to explode.

He was still waiting and just watching me. His facial expression not revealing anything and his eyes still filled with rage, but there was something else I couldn't figure out. He was just so difficult to read. I never knew what he would do next. It was kind of scary but at the same time exciting. It was one reason why I loved him so much, he would surprise me everyday, good or bad. But it would never end being adventurous with him. I was deep in thoughts so I didn't really noticed the change in his stance. When I saw him coming over to me with fast and strong movements I was paralyzed and couldn't move an inch. He stood now directly in front of me, our faces nearly touching. Then he captured my face in his rough hands and whispered: “Thank you!” I was beyond confused and my voice was a little shaky as I asked: “You're welcome?”

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hollyhuez
Review

That made me happy, is that bad. I feel like I shouldn't be so giddy since this was a drama type drabble, but I'm happy. I think it's the ending. I feel like they're gonna kiss now. He never let the main character go. "Kiss, kiss, kiss."

Oh my god.

I'm going to hell.

Nitpicks:

-I might suggest combining some sentences. You had a lot and some of them were a bit choppy. You can always combine two by using the signature ;. \

-This sentence, "I couldn't figure out what sadly." Doesn't sound right. I tried to combine it with this one, so it came out like this, " His facial expression not revealing anything and his eyes still filled with rage, but there was something else I couldn't figure out what sadly."

But that still doesn't sound right. So I changed it to this: "His facial expression wasn't revealing anything but his eyes still filled with rage, but there was something else I couldn't figure out." I just scraped the "what sadly" part. Do you get me?

That's all I have. Read over it, see if you can fix any sentences, combine them, get rid of some words?

Overall, I enjoyed it :)).

I'd like to begin this review with the things I enjoyed about this story, so, without further ado, here's a (by no means completely comprehensive) list.
Your descriptions are really great, and your use of adjectives is, for the most part, exactly on point, with enough description to set the scene, but not so many that the reader becomes overwhelmed with various "ly's". The characters you portray here are reasonably well developed, considering the length of this piece, and their relationship is intriguing.
That being said, there are not nits to be picked, which is what I'm here for.
The first is actually in the title, which, for the most part, is quite good, but there's a rather jarring punctuation error. Unless you're abbreviating "it is," there shouldn't be an apostrophe in "its". That error shows up several other times, but you should be able to find those fairly easily in your own, now that I've brought it to your attention, so I'll get on to the body of the story.
"A storm is on it's way. I can clearly see it in his eyes. The anger which glittered in his dark gray eyes reminded me of lightnings illuminating the cloudy sky with boundless energy and power."
The use of "eyes" twice within such a short period rather breaks up the flow. In the second sentence, you could replace "his dark grey eyes" with "them," and it would be just as easy to understand without the repetition.
"He was extremely calm, his breathing deep and strong, his eyes the only things revealing his true feelings. The calm before the storm. This saying got a new meaning to me this second. I could see he was trying very hard to control his rage but I also saw that he was fighting a losing battle."
The use of "extremely" doesn't quite fit with the mood of this paragraph. I'd suggest replacing it with an adjective along the lines of "excruciatingly," to better convey the tension your character is dealing with.
Additionally, "his eyes were the only things revealing his true feelings" should be a separate sentence. I'd also suggest tweaking the phrasing to something a but less awkward. You also change the tense in the sentence directly after this. It should be changed to "That saying acquired a new meaning to me in that second," or something along those lines.
The last part of your final sentence is very good, and ties up the paragraph neatly, but the first part is a bit weaker. Rather than "telling" ("I could see he was trying very hard to control his rage"), you'd be better off describing his facial expressions and body language, I.e., "he clenched his hands" or "his eyebrows knit together". You're also better off avoiding "very" for the most part; it's not really a good descriptive adjective.
"An insanely inhuman growl escaped his lips and it echoed through my veins just as thunder through the clouds. I was beyond feeling scared."
"Insanely" is an adjective of pretty dubious merit, and it really just disrupts the flow of this sentence, which really works much better without it. Additionally, "echoed" isn't a verb that goes well with "veins". Things don't echo through veins, they flow or course or race or (pick your choice of fluid-movement verb here). The "just" towards the end of this sentence is also unnecessary, and you'd be better off deleting it.
"I was just waiting for him to finally explode and let all this energy that was bottling up inside him out."
In this sentence, "bottled" would probably be a better fit, but to be honest, the "(emotion) bottled up inside" phrase is a bit of a cliche, and there are definitely some more descriptive phrases that would fit the tone you're conveying here. Also, two sentences in a row here begin with "I," which feels rather stale and formulaic.
"I was certain that it would be more than just a little storm, it would be a tornado, a blizzard."
"A little storm" feels like a rather lazy word choice, and this sentence would be distinctly improved with a more descriptive noun. Additionally, while "tornado" fits with the thunderstorm imagery you've been building up for the past two paragraphs, "blizzard" is a very different set of assumptions and connotations. There are quite a few lovely types of storms, and plenty that would fit with the theme of this passage.
"His figure was now shaking..." Again, there's a tense switch here, which could be easily fixed by removing "now" for this sentence.
"He was still waiting and just watching me. His facial expression not revealing anything and his eyes still filled with rage, but there was something else. I couldn't figure out what sadly. He was just so difficult to read."
You could replace the "and" in the first sentence with the comma, which would add more tension to this section. With the sentence directly after this, you've once again fallen into the trap of showing, rather than telling. Also, the "sadly" here is really unnecessary, and all of the information in the last sentence has already been introduced to the reader.
"I never knew what he would do next. It was kind of scary but at the same time exciting. It was one reason why I loved him so much, he would surprise me everyday, good or bad. But it would never end being adventurous with him. I was deep in thoughts so I didn't really noticed the change in his stance."
The first three sentences are edging into monologue territory, which I generally would advise you against. The fourth one should be "I was deep in thought, so I didn't really notice the change in his stance." Also, there ought to be some more specific details with regards to his "change in stance," especially since the reader has no idea what his previous stance was. Was he slouching, and recently straightened up? Has some sort of tension disappeared? This feels like fairly crucial information for the characterization of both people here, so a bit of extra effort would not be amiss.
"Then he captured my face in his rough hands and whispered: “Thank you!” I was beyond confused and my voice was a little shaky as I asked: “You're welcome?”"
The verb "captured" doesn't really fit the mood of this sentence, and should be replaced with something like "took". The colons here, both in the quotation directly after this and at the end of the paragraph, really shouldn't be there. Also, you could easily delete the "I was beyond confused" bit if you changed the sentence directly before the narrator's reply to "my voice shook as I answered," which conveys the information in the previous sentence with showing rather than telling.
In conclusion, this is definitely an intriguing premise, and I'm not sure if this was intentional or not, but I liked the ambiguity about whether the storm was a metaphor, or if the narrator's boyfriend (?) had honest-to-goodness storm powers. I'd love to see where you take this story!

Thanks a lot for the detailed review! I will definitely go through all your suggestions tomorrow and will rewrite this scene.
This is definitely really helpful and I hope I can expand this scene into a longer story soon
I have a question though ... you write in one part
'"I never knew what he would do next. It was kind of scary but at the same time exciting. It was one reason why I loved him so much, he would surprise me everyday, good or bad."
The first three sentences are edging into monologue territory, which I generally would advise you against. '
How can I prevent going into inner monologue here. How can I say these things in first person narrator without it? Do you have a tip?
But I am glad that you liked it overall ^^

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NightOwl
Review

Hello! ^.^

I think you did a really good job of describing his emotions, and I really liked the way you compared it to the 'calm before a storm'. The way you described her fright was excellent! The imagery in this is very well done!

You didn't have very many mistakes, but I did notice a typo that said 'lightings' instead of 'lightning' in the first paragraph, and in the sentence, "I couldn't figure out what sadly," you should probably put a comma between 'what' and 'sadly' to make it flow a little better.

The ending was a little confusing. You lead us to believe that he is furious for some reason that we don't know, but then he suddenly thanks her. It's a little puzzling.

Thank you! And thanks for pointing out that typo and the comma. I will change it tomorrow
And the ending: He is furious and agry at her, but he thanks her, because she doesn't run, as she usally does. She stands there (whether it's her being brave or just being paralyzed), she acts different and that is what he is thanking her for, but she doesn't realize that; therefore she tells him in a questioning tone: "Your welcome"
Thanks for the review :)

Oh, alright. I think I get it now :D



He looks like a turtle who's been through the Vietnam war.
— SirenCymbaline the Kiwi