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Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

King of the Court v2 [CH7]

by yosh


If there was something that Spencer hadn't done, there wasn't. From extracurriculars to electives, Spencer had already done basically anything.

Engrossed in soccer from a young age, Spencer thought he would become a professional soccer player, until second grade struck him like lightning, and he found the new love of his life: tennis.

He didn't last a year before golf tried to sneak in, although he only played golf fervently for a month before quitting. His father often reprimanded him for his frequent changes in 'favorite sport', but Spencer couldn't help it.

As fifth grade arrived, Spencer joined the local swim team. He adored the community and the friends that he made, but waking up early for practice and swim meets eventually pushed him away from the sport.

After entering middle school— Marble Creek, to be exact —Spencer decided to quit school sports, and tried out for a local basketball team, hoping to learn a few things.

He was rejected because of his lack of basketball knowledge.

When he admitted this to his family, his father sighed, perhaps too tired to reprimand him. His brother, Randy, who was deeply rooted in soccer, snorted. His mother showed support, at least.

On the first week of school, however, one of his classmates, Dwayne, asked him if he played basketball. Dwayne had wanted to practice with someone before the season started, and Spencer agreed. A novice of novices, Spencer could barely touch the ball without sending it out of bounds, but Dwayne was a great friend and opponent, so Spencer decided he would try out for the basketball team, thinking it to be the same as the other sports that he quickly lost interest in.

However, after meeting Dwayne, Chris, Colin, Alex, and Jacob, Spencer realized that this wasn't just any team. There was something different, and it didn't have to do with the sport.

Every sport that Spencer had played previously were well-rounded teams with a variety of players, but Marble Creek's Boys' Basketball Team had the bare minimum of players, and everyone had weaknesses and problems to overcome.

Spencer didn't mind it at all. In fact, he welcomed it. It was a setting that was very new to him. The practices, the explanations, even the conditioning made him very excited.

He loved this team. He loves this team.

They can't lose; not yet.

"Spencer!" shouts Alex. His voice seems distant, as if he's standing on the other side of the court. Wait . . . he is standing on the other side of the court, thinks Spencer.

Spencer is on Pennel Creek's side of the court. The ball will be there as well, in approximately less than two seconds.

Spencer gives a little shriek, turning awkwardly in the direction of the ball. However, he is too late. The ball, thrown by Alex, is about one foot away from his head before he realizes that he isn't going to catch it. He can't let it pass him, however, so he stops it instead.

With his face.

Sprawled on the floor, Spencer groans, clutching his forehead. What surprises him more was how fast Alex could throw the ball. Alex is a lot stronger than he looks.

In the confusion, Dwayne picks up the basketball, and shoots a lay-up. Since the ball didn't roll out of bounds after hitting Spencer's face, technically it was still in play. Spencer gets up and gives Dwayne an impressed look; Dwayne doesn't really seem like the kind of person to be that focused on a game. 

Spencer gets up, rubbing his forehead miserably. When he looks up, Jacob is smiling at him, relieved, and Chris is laughing out loud. What a Chris move, thinks Spencer dryly. He immediately wonders if the ball hitting his face, then leading to Dwayne's point, would count as an assist.

9-2

The score is starting to look good for Marble Creek.

But it doesn't look like that for long.

. . .

Alex grows red with embarrassment. How could I hit a teammate like that in the face? I feel like Fernando now. It seems like such a Fernando thing to do.

"Nice throw," Chris snickers, then he imitates the robotic voice of most shooting video games, "Headshot!"

Alex sticks a tongue at him, "Shut up, noodles."

"Headshot," Chris sneers. Alex can't tell if Chris is genuinely mean or not. More or less, it seems like being rude is simply part of Chris's personality.

Logan, the player with glasses, has the ball again. As their point guard, it makes sense for Pennel Creek to choose for Logan to have the ball, but Alex still wonders why Fernando doesn't start with the ball. Obviously, Fernando's height, dribbling, and shooting skill makes him a very formidable guard.

Just like before, Logan sends the ball to the left side instead of the right, since Fernando is on the left. However, the left side is the side where Dwayne is, therefore there is virtually no way for that opponent to get past. He hurls the ball back to Logan, who reluctantly passes to Fernando.

Fernando catches the ball and immediately shoots it. Alex gets right in front of Fernando, but Fernando's height advantage lets him shoot with ease.

Alex doesn't even dare to look at the goal, because he knew the result even before the ball touched Fernando's hands.

Splash.

Alex groans.

12-2

"This'll be harder than I thought," he mutters.

Fernando, who appears to have heard him, replies, "Should we aim for a hundred or two hundred points?"

Shooting guards. So rude, Alex grumbles to himself, ignoring Fernando. He walks over to the base line, and Colin throws it in.

When Alex reaches the defender, he does a quick spin move, and the defender is left in the dust. Alex keeps moving forward, when two more defenders reach him. He waits for them to get close, and quickly bounce passes to Chris. Of all the players, Chris seems to be the most optimal choice, since Dwayne is guarded, Colin is shaking with fear, and Spencer can't touch the ball without sending it out of bounds, or so he says.

Chris gets the ball, and thankfully backs up behind the three-point line, and takes a shot. Please, make it, Alex prays. If this shot is made, then the momentum has a possibility of turning back around.

It misses.

With a clang, it bounces off the back rim, in a high arc down to the ground. Alex rushes forward to get a rebound, but gets blocked by Fernando.

However, Fernando is about to get the ball, when Dwayne leaps out of nowhere and grabs the ball. He slams back onto the floor, grinning.

Alex laughs, impressed, "Nice rebound!"

Dwayne jumps up again, and shoots another lay-up, making the point.

12-4

For the rest of the half, Dwayne is a force of nature on the court, especially shown in his rebounds and defense, but Pennel Creek barrages them with the constant three-pointers from Fernando. Every single shot that he shoots makes its' mark, which annoys Alex, because with Dwayne's rebounding ability, it would be a lot easier for Marble Creek if Fernando would just miss shots.

Marble Creek, of course, returns the favor with their own points, though they're only two-pointers. Chris can't make a single shot, but Dwayne gets the rebounds easily, which surprises Alex almost every time. Not only is Dwayne's height very noticeably lacking, but Dwayne is also sort of an idiot.

By the end of the first quarter, the score is 18-8, with Marble Creek Trailing behind by eleven points. The second quarter is mostly an imitation of the first quarter. The same people do the same things, and the point difference keeps expanding.

The referee blows the whistle for half-time, and the score is 30-14.

"I've figured it out!" says Dwayne in a tone that suggests he thinks he actually has a good idea.

Chris replies with a blank, uninterested expression, "We don't need to hear it."

"Figured out what?" Alex says quickly, jabbing Chris lightly with his elbow. Chris recoils dramatically, almost mockingly.

Unaware of Chris, Dwayne continues, "We just need to put Chris on that really tall shooting guard. Chris is taller, right?"

"He's taller than me," interjects Chris. Dwayne shrugs in reply, obviously finding this to be a very unimportant detail.

"Well, if Chris jumps, he's taller, so we should just do that," Dwayne adds. Alex pauses, wondering if he should tell Dwayne that Fernando happens to know how to jump as well.

Jacob, finding this to be a very good time to intervene, jumps in, "Dwayne's right, we'll try putting Chris on this guy. If anything, at least those few inches over Alex will make it harder for him to shoot."

"But Fernando could just dribble around him," Alex observes, and quickly adds, "I mean, I'm not saying that Chris is slow or anything, but Fernando will be able to get around him."

Jacob grins, "Hey, I didn't say you're not guarding him."

"A double-team!" Colin shouts suddenly, "We didn't think of that!"

"Well, I did, actually, but I wanted to see if Alex alone could do it first," Jacob shrugs. He glances up at the scoreboard.

Alex glares at Jacob, "Took you a few too many quarters to figure out that I'm a lot shorter than Fernando."

"Alright, another thing, lets relieve some pressure from Alex with some more dribbling," Jacob says. Spencer quickly looks up.

"What if we can't dribble that great?," asks Spencer. Jacob nods in understanding.

He smiles menacingly, "Then dribble."

"I don't know," Alex frowns, uncertain, "I think maybe I should start my engine early. We don't have substitutes to help me out, but the point gap is getting a little too wide, thanks to Fernando."

This time, it's Chris's turn to be uncertain, "It's not like we have that much of a chance of winning. They've already basically doubled our points. How will we know you'll be able to pull us through? We haven't even seen this 'engine' of yours."

Alex pauses, thinking very seriously about the question, "Well, I don't want to say something as vague as 'faith in teammates', but we've practiced together, conditioned together, hung out together, so the least you could do is believe in us as much as we believe in you."

Alex continues, "I can probably pull through the entire second half with my engine if I hold back a bit."

"No!" says Colin adamantly, "You're engine thing or whatever is obviously this really cool power that makes you really strong, right? But that should be saved for the end of the battle. I think you should let your awesome sidekicks fight for now."

Alex pauses, speechless. He honestly never thought about it that way. Since most of his time was spent practicing solo, he didn't have much experience using the increase in speed that he called 'his engine' on other players, especially along with other teammates. In fact, Alex is worried if the engine will actually hold up in the heat of the game.

"Why do you even call it an engine anyway?" mutters Chris, "It sounds kind of weird, like you're a car or something."

"I would drive it," offers Dwayne.

The buzzer blares, signaling the start of the second half.

"All right!" Jacob claps his hands together, "If you guys win, I'll treat you all to a pizza party. If not, we'll double the amount of conditioning next week. Is that good enough of a motivator?"

Colin noticeably sags, "You didn't need to add the second part, you know."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take," Alex grins with resolve, placing his hand forward.

"Marble Creek!" Alex prompts.

With a vigor almost tenfold of the chant before, all six of them, Jacob included, shout with all their might, shaking the foundations of the gym, and rocking the bleachers and benches alike.

"Fight!"


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1487 Reviews


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Reviews: 1487

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Mon May 23, 2022 11:39 am
IcyFlame wrote a review...



Right, last chapter and now I'm up to date! I'm not sure if you've written more of this yet, but please feel free to tag me when you post it. I may not get to it immediately, but I'll do my best to review within a reasonable timeframe :)

I love the intro to Spencer in this chapter, it's the perfect one liner! The fact that he's played so many sports makes me think he must be pretty athletic so I hope he takes to basketball to support his team. It does mean though that we've had quite a break from the action so I'm glad you've returned to the match in the second half of this chapter because otherwise I think I would be a little worried about the pacing being too slow. The background is important, but we've had quite a lot all in one go now.

I have to say I didn't realise the ball was already in play. If Spencer is so distracted it leads me to wonder how he's managed to do all these other sports! It was great comedic relief though.

Dwayne doesn't really seem like the kind of person to be that focused on a game.

This felt a bit weird as we've just learned they spent time together before the team formed so doesn't he know him well enough to not have to say what he 'seems like'.

Just like before, Logan sends the ball to the left side instead of the right, since Fernando is on the left. However, the left side is the side where Dwayne is, therefore there is virtually no way for that opponent to get past. He hurls the ball back to Logan, who reluctantly passes to Fernando.

This part lost me a bit (may be a lack of basketball knowledge). He tries to pass to Fernando, can't and then reluctantly passes to Fernando?

I like that the team seems to be building up together, they really seem to have potential to be a great team but they just need some work. They definitely seem to be closer than Pennel Creek. I'd be interested to see their half time conversation (if there even is one, or if it's just Fernando shouting at them).

Go Marble Creek!

Looking forward to chapter 8

Icy




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Fri Mar 04, 2022 8:07 pm
MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Yosh,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

At first glance, we are entering a great transition here with a little backstory and the continuation of the game. An interesting chosen structure that I like.

An absolute highlight was the narration and introduction of Spencer. I'm really thrilled with how you managed to portray that and especially with such great and fluid text that it felt like a narrative from a documentary. Above all, I really liked how you managed to keep everything in a certain style and thus not somehow disturb the flow of reading. Definitely a very good part from the chapter.

But that doesn't mean the rest isn't as good either. I liked how the focus shifted back to Alex and the team and how you were able to score points, especially through the dialogue. I clearly liked the way you wrote the language of each team member here, which really created a kind of stress, perseverance and nervousness. It gave the whole chapter a very lively feel.

But I also found that some parts where you described a bit more how the game was going on lost a bit of tension because of that. At the beginning I thought this was just my impression, but when I reread some parts a few times, it seemed to me that the necessary "umph" that you usually add was missing. Of course, it could be that I was a bit blinded by the dialogue, but I still think that adding some new sentences or restructuring would help to get the same level as the dialogue.

In summary, it was a good chapter and I liked how we got two special sides of the coin here. Definitely a small highlight chapter on the level of the writing style.

Other points I noticed while reading:

However, after meeting Dwayne, Chris, Colin, Alex, and Jacob, Spencer realized that this wasn't just any team.

Read this sentence aloud and you won't find any problems with it, if you know what you are reading, but reading it in your head and you will find out, that this sentence has some bug. :D It's a bit weird that the structure here with all the names is so confusing but still correct, so I will only notice that maybe you could change it a bit like "team" instead of all the names.

He can't let it pass him, however, so he stops it instead.
With his face.

In this chapter, you have a lot of different ways to describe things in a way that it is humorous and funny. Here too, with the beginning of a new paragraph.

Alex grows red with embarrassment. How could I hit a teammate like that in the face? I feel like Fernando now. It seems like such a Fernando thing to do.

When you don´t know who Fernando is, the whol sentence is way funnier than with the knowledge of Fernando. I´m sorry, that I´m not sure anymore, who Fernando is. Starts reading a bit ahead - oh this Fernando! :D

"What if we can't dribble that great?," asks Spencer. Jacob nods in understanding.

Tiny typo here.

A nice chapter that showed once again that you can achieve a lot with a little teamwork. :D

Have fun writing!

Mailice





Once here on Young Writers Society, in chat, chickens wanted variety. They complained to Nate and after debate became funky orangutans silently.
— Mea