Young Writers Society

I can relate to this on every level. I can feel the stress and pressure eminating from this poem, it captures entering adulthood perfectly. Constantly feeling lost, tired, stressed and not taken seriously but also being forced to make decisions that ultimately decide the course of the rest of your life and still someone constantly being told you're "too young to understand how the world works"

"They tell me I’m just a child.

That I don’t know anything yet.

But then they expect me to make adult decisions."

This line really does some up everything about entering the adult world! Every line is so powerful because honestly it's so real, it's the sad reality that nothing is the same, nothing's as magical when we are forced to grow up. Anyways I didn't find much to critique I think it flows well and has a power/relatable message behind it. Keep up the great work!

Hi InfiniteRectangles, Felistia here with the review you requested.

This is an unusual set up for a poem, but surprisingly it works pretty well. You have a little bit of a rhyming scheme going on and it really helps make the poem flow. Sometimes your lines can get a bit lone, but for the most part they are okay.

I really like the way you build the poem up like a piece of action music getting louder and louder until it stops and that is what your poem did for me. That is one of the reasons it flows well, because you present a sort of rhythm that helps the reader go through the poem.

I like the story behind the poem to about the never ending race from dawn to dusk. That brings up a little nit-pick of mine. The title you presented isn't very interesting in my opinion. I think you should change it to something else more eye catching like The Never Ending Race or something like that. That is just my opinion though to ignore me if you want.

And that is all for my review. I really liked the poem and for a first one this is really good. I look forward to more of your work. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.

Hi InfiniteRectangles jessiebear here to tell you what I liked about this poem and how you can fixe it as well. And I hope what I say will be of any help to you. And I hope what I say is not rood or any thin and If it is rood I am very sorry about it and I still hope what I say will be of any help.

Okay what I like about the poem. First the name of the poem is very interesting I must say. That is what dragged me hear to read your poem so good job with that. Next the spelling there are no mistakes with that every thing is spelt rite grate job. Okay so far every thing is good.

Now to cut to the chase.

Lets start with the review shell we and I hope I am not bin to pikey.


The poem is grate just to let you now. Okay I think you have to much full stops in this poem but that is what I think and you can not start a sent ins with a and. I am going to show you all the ands you have you'd in your poem and are capitals.


(And studying.)


(And testing.)


(And I’m losing my mind.)


(And pressure.)


(And stress.)


(And they’ve broken me.)


These you need to fixe.

Any way that is all I have to come planet about.

So what I have to say is I loved the poem ether whey so fantastic and grate job. And I hope you will keep on weighting because I am looking for word to reading more of your work. And I hope you will let me now when you have posted another poem so I can review it are say what I liked about it for you. And I hope you will keep up the good work. And I hope you will keep on writing poems.

And I hope you have a fantastic day are night.


From jessiebear.

interesting poem, very easily related to.At 18 so much is expected of you and yet our elders often expect the worst.
personally, I feel you over punctuated I understand there are people who need some form of punctuation after every line but here you've placed a full stop after every line disabling the poems flow making it sound bumpy(if that makes sense)

overall it was a good piece