E - Everyone

The Drawer

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It had been a while since I had purchased a study table. I bought it online from a second-hand shop, and it was quite affordable. Finding such a beautiful desk at the current market prices was indeed a stroke of luck. 

Back when I lived at home, studying always took place at my table. However, after getting into university, I had to stay far from home. There was no study table here; all I had was a bed. I would sit on the bed and study, but it was never as comfortable or efficient. That's when the idea to buy a table struck me.

There was one peculiar feature about the table: its drawer was unusually large. If you stretched your legs inside it, you'd fit completely. However, it didn't seem to cause any trouble; the problem lay elsewhere.

From the moment I bought the table, I started having a strange recurring dream. After I went to bed at night, I couldn't tell exactly when, I would find myself concealed within the dream like a phantom. To put it simply, I was paralyzed. I could only see through the corner of my eyes.

A humanoid creature emerged from the drawer, moving excruciatingly slowly, almost like a tortoise with measured steps. I could sense it was struggling to offer something; it appeared to be a painful endeavor. Nevertheless, it gradually approached and eventually made its way to the center of the room. Then, it came to a halt. It sat down, crossed its legs, and remained still. There was no further commotion.

What made it even stranger was that I could understand what this creature was doing by looking at the corners of my eyes. When the morning light breaks, it seemed like it had received some signal. It would slowly return to the drawer, struggling to fit inside. However, the moment it entered the drawer, the dream would abruptly end.

This bizarre dream became a daily occurrence. The enigmatic creature, struggling as it slowly emerged from the drawer, made its way towards the center of the room. Each time, I lay there concealed, just like the night before, paralyzed, unable to move.

Now, as I stand in front of my table, I wonder. During the day, everything is explained away as mere illusions. Can the story I've spun be anything more than an extravagant explanation? Is it not simply an embellished tale? Perhaps, the humor in it is more in the narration than in the actual events.

***

Even today, I find myself witnessing the same incident in my dreams. The creature emerges and moves slowly towards the center of the room, still concealed. I am paralyzed too. My mind is active, but I remain motionless.

Suddenly, a loud "ding-dong" sound breaks the silence as my mobile phone, placed near my head, starts ringing. Someone has called me at this hour of the night. Oh no! I have forgotten to put it on silent.

I can hear the sounds of movement in the middle of the room. Not everything was a dream? The creature seems to be moving, and it appears to be taking notice of me. What is happening? The morning light has not been broke yet.

In my concealed state, I can feel something approaching me slowly, step by step. I have no strength left, and I am unable to move my body. It is as if the creature is gradually inching closer to me.

The growling grew louder, more distinct. Its intensity was increasing, and I was beginning to discern a note of aggression in the creature's vocalizations. Something was going horribly wrong.

I can clearly hear the sound of breathing, growing increasingly intense. If the intensity of the sound is any indication, it is getting closer.

***

In the distance, the faint call to prayer at dawn can be heard. Morning light is breaking out. I received the signal and must return to my own world. I have to left this place. I received the signal and must return to my own world. I lift my head a little, struggling to do so. I feel a force within me, and my body slowly turns towards me. My body feels heavy.

Giving away the struggle, I finally succeed in placing myself beside the creature. I can clearly hear the sound of labored breathing. The intensity of the sound keeps increasing.

It had taken quite an effort to reach this point. The purpose was singular - the drawer! The elusive drawer I had been yearning to reach for so long. Despite the challenges, it was the only goal.

Epilogue

Niyaz stands in front of the new table he bought cheaply. It's good looking, but, has an oversized drawer. Apparently, the previous tenant in this place was a university student who fled without paying rent. So, the landlord sold off all his belongings.

Niyaz is happy to have found the table at a bargain. But there's one problem - ever since getting the table, he's been having strange dreams every night.

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Wors6ip
Review
Wors6ip wrote a review · Wed Nov 08, 2023 4:18 am

Hello hello! I hope you're having a good day/night.

The biggest critique I have with this story is the first two paragraphs.

It had been a while since I had purchased a study table. I bought it online from a second-hand shop, and it was quite affordable. Finding such a beautiful desk at the current market prices was indeed a stroke of luck. Back when I lived at home, studying always took place at my table. However, after getting into university, I had to stay far from home. There was no study table here; all I had was a bed. I would sit on the bed and study, but it was never as comfortable or efficient.

However, now that I had moved far away from home due to my university admission, there was no study table at my new place. I had to make do with sitting on my bed to study. But it just wasn't the same. That's when the idea to buy a table struck me.

The last few sentences of the first paragraph and the entire second paragraph are very similar. It almost seems like you forgot you had written the last part of the first one and written the second one like it wasn't there. Both of them are written very well and don't need any editing, but obviously my biggest suggestion would be to just remove one of them.

The description of the drawer in the beginning is so unsettling. Why on Earth would a drawer be that big? It's pretty much asking for bad vibes right off the bat. The sleep paralysis descriptions conjured up some terrifying imagery but was really made me go "Oh no" was when the phone went off and it was revealed it wasn't a dream at all, and that monster was just sitting there the whole time! That was an excellent twist, my friend.

The ending made me super confused, but that makes sense for horror stories. I feel endings that are too open and close don't fit with all of the suspense and mystery that was being set up before. It raises so many questions: is our narrator taking the monster's place, being kidnapped, or are they actually have a dream that's just scarily realistic? The last paragraph kind of hints at it being from the monster's perspective, but I just think that because it seems too out of place to be coming from the narrator. The mention of goals and purpose also hints at this too, because why would the narrator have any kind of goals relating to some secondhand drawer? That just raises even more questions, but I would hate to ramble here too much, so I'm cutting myself off now.

Happy writing, my friend! I'm excited to see what else you write :)

Thanks. You've read it very carefully. I apologize for writing similar paragraphs and edited it.
And, in the ending narrator turns into that monster but how it turns into that it's open for readers. it's short story so I can't explain that in that story.

Good morrow, thy writer! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Let us begin with the corrupted S’more!

Top Graham Cracker - A human purchases a table with an unusually large drawer and begins to have nightmares of a strange creature climbing out of the drawer and almost reaching them until the sun shines…

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I do this myself a few times. You use past and present tense. For example, you wrote “What was happening?” instead of “What is happening?” I don’t know if that was your intention, but I’d thought I would point it out.

Chocolate Bar -This was really bizarre and I like that! A possibly possessed table?! And a vague ending?! It’s the perfect horror story! I don’t know if the protagonist accepted their fate, if it was all a dream, or if they are the monster now. I don’t know why the table is evil. Because I don’t know, that leads to more questions that will lead to frightening conclusions…

Closing Graham Cracker - I have enjoyed reading this horror story immensely. I don’t have a drawer for my desk and maybe I should be lucky. Who knows what lurks in the most ordinary of objects?

I wish you to have a beautiful day with no evil desks!

Thanks for reading the story. Yes, It's a grammatical mistake in the story.
The questions arise because it's a short story and I don't have much scope to wrtie them in that story.



Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
— Niels Bohr