Published November 7, 2012
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139,593 Literary Works • 672,612 Reviews
first of all great name. second great poem. It fits exactly with what i am learning about in class. I don't think it should be poem i think you should make it a story and add more to the sentences but if you did that i would be really impressed its really hard to do that
I really like this, love the contrast of the children's innocent actions with the foreboding, dark setting. I thought it gave a lovely glimmer of hope in such a dismal place.
Wow, I really liked this poem! It kind of reminded me of a story I'm writing right now. I really liked the desolate feeling you gave this poem, and a feeling of slight urgency too.
And "the floor of asphalt" and "a ceiling of gray" were perfect for the story it tells.
Great job