z

Young Writers Society



Monster Hunter

by Impaired


Monster hunter,
Monster hunter,
Where have you been? 
You can keep time, 
But you'll never know when.

You fight through the day
And you save through the night
Tell me your ways
Show me the light
 
Chase
Pursue
We depend on you
To purge away the evil

But you cannot stay
And push us away
We all know you're alone

Monster hunter, 
Monster hunter,
All alone
Despite how you're loved
Despite how you're known
Monster hunter,
Monster hunter,
Be careful, you'll see,
Or the thing that you hunt
Is the thing that you'll be.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
25 Reviews


Points: 1234
Reviews: 25

Donate
Sat Nov 03, 2012 4:26 pm
nomadpenguin says...



It sounds like you're writing about the Doctor...






Haha, I like you...



User avatar
32 Reviews


Points: 566
Reviews: 32

Donate
Sat Nov 03, 2012 5:10 am
View Likes
Ary wrote a review...



This reminds me of certain ways people use to make like a story to scare children or to tell legends. But I absolutely love it!. You're give the reader a mystery to unravel, in a way..And even though to some it might seem confusing what you're doing here it still gives you an idea to see it one's way. You leave people wondering..I myself am asking if the person narrating this in his/her mind through the poem gets into the character of Monster Hunter itself and if in the part after "We all know you're alone" turns into the monster..but, overall, love it for being different and for making us instead of seeing "the obvious" making the reader work for the mystery. That's what I saw from my point of view though...




User avatar
28 Reviews


Points: 531
Reviews: 28

Donate
Tue Oct 30, 2012 3:35 pm
View Likes
PeaceLuvPoems wrote a review...



This was a cool poem, but for me, kinda confusing... but I loved the ryhmes and rythms of this poem! I especially liked this part:
"Monster hunter,
Monster hunter,
Be careful, you'll see,
Or the thing that you hunt,
Is the thing that you'll be."
Really awesome! No seriously, i keep reading that part over and over again...




Impaired says...


Thank you so much :) Any tips on how to clear up confusion?



User avatar
5 Reviews


Points: 783
Reviews: 5

Donate
Sun Oct 28, 2012 3:48 pm
writingismylife wrote a review...



Very good technique. I like it. The words flow well and the rhythm doesn't seem forced. I don't agree with hiverious when he says that he finds it a bit vague as to who the monster hunter is. I like the way you've left it open, for readers to make up their own mind. In my opinion, if you make things to obvious when writing and spell it out the reader can get a bit bored and the writing can lose the excitement. It is a very good poem and you deserve a pat on the back. Keep up the writing :P




Impaired says...


Thank you! :-)



User avatar
7 Reviews


Points: 1290
Reviews: 7

Donate
Sun Oct 28, 2012 6:07 am
hiverious wrote a review...



I like the repetition of Monster Hunter, making it sound almost like a desperate plea for them to head the words of the poem. Also, I do find the last 5 lines of the poem to be quite interesting in a very Nietzsche sort of way. He who fights monsters and all. It gives the poem more of a sense of urgency and really goes well with the repetition of Monster Hunter.

I find it a bit vague just who the Monster Hunter is, though. I wonder if that was intentional on your part. It seems at the beginning of the poem the Monster Hunter is a sort of parental figure, but by the end I'm not too sure. Is it just someone to be looked up to?




Impaired says...


The monster hunter them self is really the thing any child looks for when they know there's something under the bed or lurking in the dark because so rarely can
Parents fix that problem The moment they know about it. A monster hunter could.



User avatar
13 Reviews


Points: 328
Reviews: 13

Donate
Sat Oct 27, 2012 6:05 pm
goldenrebel wrote a review...



A nice, well thought-out poem in my opinion man. I like the bit of rhyming you put into it as it makes the poem more entertaining for the reader. I felt it was smooth and flowed along pretty well throughout the poem. I liked how you repeated "Monster hunter" so that the reader would pay more attention to that set of words. Keep on writing man. :)




Impaired says...


Thank you! I appreciate it :-)



User avatar
11 Reviews


Points: 929
Reviews: 11

Donate
Fri Oct 26, 2012 12:30 pm
Anonymous99 wrote a review...



Love the idea! Beautifully written, perfectly choosing the right words for each sentence. The end was a bit confusing but a solid poem :) at times the poem lacked a bit of passion and the fear of being hunted... However, I loved the fact that in the last stanza you repeated monster hunter, it really made a difference and add so much effect to the whole 'monster' idea.also, another positive note is that you never waffled on or made the poem get dull - always interesting sentences! Really a pleasure to read. A great piece of work!




User avatar
11 Reviews


Points: 929
Reviews: 11

Donate
Fri Oct 26, 2012 12:25 pm
View Likes
Anonymous99 wrote a review...



Love the idea! Beautifully written, perfectly choosing the right words for each sentence. The end was a bit confusing but a solid poem :)




User avatar
33 Reviews


Points: 1188
Reviews: 33

Donate


The things you are passionate about are not random, they are your calling.
— Fabienne Fredrickson