Miss you

by IlhamAlKhatib

Published November 5, 2012

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.All the time we've been together, I was living a dream

I miss your presence as I miss myself,

Because my soul and yours are connected with each other,

we're nothing without each other.

Hope god gets us one day together

and since that time forever

Miss you like hell

Comments & reviews · 10
User avatar
Thalizar
Review
Thalizar wrote a review Review · Nov 7, 2012

I can tell something is obviously bugging you and it's obviously someone you love.

There are, and I'm sorry, a few issues that I found.

"Because my soul and yours are connected with each other and we're nothing without each other"

This line is far too long and isn't balanced, it just seems far too basic and simple. Maybe tweak it around a bit?

;) something bugging me

yea I would love to edit it to "my soul and yours are connected"
and thank you :))

User avatar
BaByLa1989
Review
BaByLa1989 wrote a review Review · Nov 6, 2012

* I miss the way you made me smile,
the way i felt perfectly in your arms
i liked that you could have made me cry
yet i loved you
why did you go away its beyond me
but i miss you. *


Hey I love your piece was really looking forward to more longer poem thou. I didn't know that if felt this way so much "miss someone" i knew i missed them but not that much. Your poem made me feel like i'm not alone. If I was to write a piece entitle "I miss you" the above words would be a part of it... Keep writing and keep up the good work i love your work.

Thank you so much... plz read more of mine :))

User avatar
BaByLa1989
Comment
BaByLa1989 commented Comment · Nov 6, 2012

* I miss the way you made me smile,
the way i felt perfectly in your arms
i liked that you could have made me cry
yet i loved you
why did you go away its beyond me
but i miss you. *


Hey I love your piece was really looking forward to more longer poem thou. I didn't know that if felt this way so much "miss someone" i knew i missed them but not that much. Your poem made me feel like i'm not alone. If I was to write a piece entitle "I miss you" the above words would be a part of it... Keep writing and keep up the good work i love your work. :D



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