Stay away from her he was warned.
She wasn't wanted.
Every where he went he would always find a group of people gossiping about Cara.
That was her name.
Beautiful and elegant.
Just like her. He mentally shook himself.
It was wrong to think about her like that.
His friends would tie him up and feed him to the dogs if they knew that he was thinking about her.
He wanted nothing more than to go up to her and try to have a conversation with her but he was afraid.
Afraid of being an outcast.
What, like her? He questioned himself.
Would that be so bad?
Would being an outcast be so bad if it meant he could have a conversation with her?
Cara was a 17 year old just like himself. However unlike Shawn, she was a social outcast. No one wanted to go near her, let alone speak to her.
And those who did would be told to join her.
Not that anyone ever tried.
People treasured their spot on the social ladder too much to have it all thrown away by a girl.
The lights went on in the room opposite to his.
It didn't help that the protagonist of his thoughts lived right next door to him.
They've been living side by side for 10 years and naturally that meant that they were bestfriends.
Keyword being 'were' Shawn groaned again.
Why was all of this so hard? He looked up as if directing his question to the lord of the world Himself.
He wanted nothing more than going to her balcony and knocking on her window.
Like when we were kids.
He smiled to himself and then sighed.
She's being doing that a lot.
Causing him so much confusion although she didn't know.
After pacing back and forth in his room he made his mind up.
This is it! He was shivering and goosebumps were shaped all over his body.
But it wasn't because it was cold.
Carefully, he climbed onto her porch and caused his hand to form a fist.
He posed his knuckles so that they were ready to knock on the glass.
I give up, I don't care about what anyone else thinks anymore Shawn thought.
He was sick and tired of seeing the girl he liked - no loved - being treated with such disrespect.
I just want to comfort her.
A sob cut of his trail of thoughts.
Her weep brought him back to reality.
He wanted nothing more than to assuage her sadness.
So he raised his hand into a fist again-
A few minutes of silence passed before he had to knock again.
Just to be sure she had heard him.
A shuffling noise came from inside and then silence.
Slowly the door to the room was opened, and Cara was carrying a bat.
Didn't know you played baseball he mentally laughed.
Cara had always hated sports.
She was even afraid of swimming when they were 6.
A lot change over 3 years.
All traces of happiness had gone.
How did I let her get away for three years?
"Why are you here?" asked Cara, drawing him away from his thoughts.
"I heard you cry." he shrugged simply.
She raised a perfect eyebrow.
"You've never cared before, why now?"
She hadn't even bothered denying that there she was sobbing earlier on.
He shrugged again.
"Can I come in?" He was nervous that her reply would be no. After all, he was the one who had neglected her.
"Sure." she had replied to him but he could tell that she wasn't doing so out of respect for him.
She opened the door wider to let him in.
And he went into her room with a shocked expression on his face.
"You clearly didn't come here to make conversation with me, otherwise you would have done that three years ago." she was stood facing him, arms folded. "So what do you need?"
"What do I need?" Shawn was confused. He had no idea what she meant.
"Yes, don't play dumb with me Mendes. What do you want?" His mouth was now wide open. "Money? My homework? Using me as a punching bag? Carrying your school stuff?"
She had stunned him into silence. He didn't want any of those things. Shawn genuinely wanted to speak to her.
"Well?" her foot was now rhythmically tapping on the floor.
A clear indication she was getting impatient with him.
Then catching onto what she meant, he let his mouth run wild-
"Nothing Cara! Just because I came her after 3 years to speak to you doesn't mean I have never wanted to speak to you or that I've never tried. I was warned against it okay?! And seriously? You honestly think I would come here to just take something of you? Didn't it cross your mind that it was because I wanted to? Seeing you devasted everyday in school made my stomach drop. I care for you okay Cara, I want to be there for you and I don't really care about what anyone else thinks in school, I just want to be able to talk to my bestfriend again."
She had yet again caused him to be silent as he felt a sting in his cheeks.
She had slapped me Shawn had thought she had slapped me...
So why wasn't he surprised.
"Don't talk to me Mendes, don't you dare! I have suffered three years of torture and not once did you step in. Now all of a sudden you want to speak to me?! Bullshit! Fucking bullshit!"
She had now broken down and sat on the floor, her legs pulled up to her chest.
"Oh Cara," Shawn sat on the floor and pulled her closer to him. After a few minutes of her sobbing and struggling against his strong hold, she had given in. "Don't you see, I love you. I have always loved you. I was just too much of a coward to tell you. I'm so sorry that you had to endure all of that. I am so sorry that I didn't do anything. But I can change all of that, and make sure you're not alone ever again if you let me."
After thinking his words through, she had nodded.
"Okay." she said quitely.
And together they had just sat there silently till her breathing became even and she had fallen asleep.
Carefully, he had carried her to her bed and gently pulled up the covers to her chest.
He then kissed her on the forehead.
His form of a thank you for forgiving him.
"Shawn?" came a quiet voice as he was about to walk outside to her porch.
"Yes?" he asked turning to face her.
"Are you sure?"
Knowing what she meant, Shawn nodded and gave her a quick smile before slipping out of her room into his own.
Of course I was sure he inwardly replied to her question It just took me 3 years to figure that out.
Later that night, Shawn couldn't sleep so he had decided to bring out his song book and started writing.
That had always helped him to relax and calm his mind.
Thinking about Cara and her struggles, he began writing the lyrics to his song titled 'A little too much'
Sometimes it all gets a little too much,
But you gotta realize that soon the fog witll clear up,
And you don't you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much.