Published January 3, 2011
She lays still in her bed,
waiting for the angel of death
to come,
to steal her soul.
She's weak,
I stand there by her side in silence,
ignorant to what is happening.
How awful for
everyone to be surrounding her,
waiting to hear her last breath,
waiting for her departure.
the day has stopped,
so useless I feel,
I don't have the power to help.
The selfishness of us humans doesn't have limits,
How ironic yet so frightening,
today I am crying for her,
tomorrow tears will be lost for me.
Her face is so sweaty,
her tired look from all those sleepless nights,
her long hair, falling one by one,
I don't see that sparkle anymore
that urge to leave;
she gave up.
What am I worth,
what is my presence going to change,
prayers are coming from my strained voice,
that persona, Death is so mysterious,
visiting when you less expect it
especially when you started forgetting of it's existence.
Looking at her I now understand
that life has to be lived to it's fullest
day after day,
that we can't live forever although that's what we think,
and health is a major player to all this.
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139,539 Literary Works • 672,605 Reviews
Hi thanks everyone for your help ... all your suggestions were good but for some reason this is the title that was most imprinted in my mind
As everyone I lost someone dear, the poem wasn't for one person in particular but I wanted to express the way I felt when I found myself in this situations and how we all do most of the time ... I mean the advent Death is one of those times where we realize us humans are mortals and from there it comes a sense of frustration.
Wow, excellent job! This poem was very poignant and I always think that the best poems are the ones that are inspired by real emotion (even though I hope you haven't lost someone dear to you, and if you have, I'm sorry.) Anyway, I really liked your choice of words, the poem wasn't too wordy but the words that you used were effective. I especially loved the first stanza, too.
As for titles, you've already been offered some fantastic ones by other members, so yeah. Great job!
THREE WORDS: THIS WAS AMAZING!! yess i loved this. keep it up.
this part was my favorite of the whole poem. This didnt' have any rhythm or rhyme so it made it more interesting and deep. I think that rhyming in poems makes it sound like a nursery rhyme so good job with this. How did you get the inspiration/idea to write this? please tell me no one died.
for titles, i suggest:
Ignorance
Falling One by One
We Can't Live Forever
Her Last Breath
my personal favorite is "Falling One by One" referring to:
i didn't find any grammar mistakes so this is pretty much - flawless except it's lacking a title! (:
best wishes, Nessa
This is very beautiful. I didn't find anything wrong with it. It connected with me and reminded me of my Papa. Readers can definitely connect with this.
A title? A Prayer For The Sick? I am not the best title person, sorry. Just wanted to tell you that this poem was beautiful.
Best words in the entire poem. Did you lose someone close to you? If so, I'm sorry for you loss. This poem is very beautiful. It's sad, yet eye opening. Yes, humans do know no end of selfishness. You could name it, The Lingering Soul, The Wait, Irony of Death, The Strange Occurence.
Hope I helped.
Good luck and keep writing
-Soggy.
-Prayer Girl
-The Soul
-The Poor
_________