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141,733 Literary Works • 675,639 Reviews
I think I will try to expand more on the poem. Thank you
I think that this was a really powerful poem. I loved the repeated line "I want to scream, I want to be free, let me be me." and I love how you end and begin on this extremely emotional line. However, I think that you should come up with more of a pattern for when you repeat it. It seemed like it was repeated at seemingly random times. Other than that one piece of advice I loved it! Good job, and keep up the great work!
Hey, Up&Out here for a review.
Overall, this is a pretty good piece. The only thing I could say is that the italisized line gets pretty repetitive and this poem is a little too short for it to be said more than twice. Other than that, your rhythm is slightly off, but that's okay sometimes. Just try to even out the lines a little, don't have really long ones followed by shorter ones.
As for a title, how about Caged? It represents the situation described and the emotion and diction in the poem would fit that of someone who truly does feel caged.
Hope this helps!
Keep writing,
Up