Shh...

Looks like this is the second review I'm doing for you today

I really liked this I liked the structure, though it was a littlte weird to get used to. Though, as Shiney said, it did mess up the flow a little but its up to you rather you would want to change that.

Beat me
Kick me
Stomp me to the ground.
Pummel to a pulp,
And
Never make a sound.

I love this beginning, it sets a mood for the rest of the poem and it really made me want to keep reading.

Secret
Secret
No one ever knows,
The life that we lead,
When
People aren’t around.

I like this too but maybe find another word for the second "secret" and the only real problem I have with this is that the last line doesn't fit, it sounds awkward to read, maybe change it, keep the same meaning because that is perfect but it just doesn't fit to me... Though that might jsut be me,,, Try reading it aloud, if it sounds awkward, try to change it.

Thats all I got, I liked the rest of the poem and I think this is really goo

Hope I helped,

~Rain

Hey, shiney1 here

Let me just say that I really like this poem. I was intrigued from the beginning, and I never lost interest on the way down. The style is different, and takes a bit of adjustment on the reader's part, but is a nice touch overall.

Some places were questionable and could use some revision, however.

Beat me
Kick me
Stomp me to the ground.
Pummel to a pulp,
And This part took some getting used to. This "one word line system" disrupts the flow in the first part of you poem, so maybe it would be good to make it at least two words long.
Never make a sound.

But all the same, not a bad start.

Secret
Secret
No one ever knows,
The life that we lead,
When
People aren’t around.

The big issue with this stanza is that the second and last lines do not rhyme at all, like the other stanzas do. This is inconsistency and one of those problems that must be fixed.

Cuss me
Curse me
Call me wicked names.
The world was cruel to you,
So
Wash out all your flames.

Not much to say about this one, nice start

Shoot me
Shock me
Blood curdles, howl.
Go ahead -
Our life is gone.
No turning back now.

What I have to say is that all of the first three lines deal with verbs, but the first part of the third does not. That chops the flow when you read it for the first, or even second time.

Plague me
Smite me
Haughty leering face,
Make sure that I’m wrong
Always
Been such a disgrace.

Not bad at all...

Dusk me
Slay me
Murder what is left.
Just remember -
You’re the reason
Why
My love was put to rest.

This is nice strong finish.

So that is what I have to say. Don't stop with this piece, it can be better