Forever and a Day and a Half

by IamHathor22

Published November 2, 2011

Each day will pass,
Like an eternity of
Not seeing your face
Not hearing your voice
Not making you laugh,
But I’ll be content
In knowing you’ll love me
Forever
And
A day
And
A half.

Comments & reviews · 3
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LeslieNoble Comment
LeslieNoble commented Comment · Nov 2, 2011

This is pretty.
The flow is good, and it's a nice thought.

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davantageous
Review
davantageous wrote a review Review · Nov 2, 2011

Title of the poem is unique and i like that.

Forever and a Day and a Half

Each day will pass,
Like an eternity of
Not seeing your face
Not hearing your voice,
Not making you laugh,
But I’ll be content
In knowing you’ll love me
Forever,
And
A day,
And
A half.


There were several commas missing and you might want to reconsider using the word of. otherwise an great sounding poem.

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amygabb
Review
amygabb wrote a review Review · Nov 2, 2011

I really enjoyed this poem. I'm not sure if you meant to rhyme, but it was subtle (I didn't even notice it the first time I read it). I actually wanted it to be longer. I thought you could elaborate on why the relationship isn't able to continue. Also, I'd suggest you add a descriptive word in this section:
"Not seeing your face
Not hearing your voice
Not making you laugh,"

(for example:
Not seeing your angel face,
Not hearing your resonant voice,
Not making you laugh --- something like that would give us a better picture)

I loved the title. Always keep writing!



Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
— Thomas Edison