Act I Scene I
Death is going around through the town fast and furiously. There’s talk of it with every kind of person and it seems that soon it will become a common bedtime story.
Delaney: Hey, what’s your name miss!
Melinda: Melinda
Delaney: You’re not the Melinda that’s dead are you?
Melinda: No…
Delaney: Well, that’s good news, for you at least.
[Melinda blinks]
Delaney: Did you hear about Jeremy, the man in Ellington street with the dirty overalls?
Melinda: Heard he owned a fine set of pigs.
Delaney: [smiles] Oh, yes! And after he went up somewhere between heaven and hell yesterday, the neighbors took one pig each for free.
Melinda: My god!
Delaney: I know, for FREE!
Melinda: But he’s d----
Delaney: But really, when you got a good look at them, they weren’t that big.
Melinda: But de---
Delaney: Probably feed the family for 3 days if they get a good price out of it. Ron earns enough from his job, we don’t need pigs to feed us.
Melinda: Jeremy’s dead?
Delaney: Well, that what I said, didn’t I? And his brother and sister--- both knocked in the head a little--- were sitting with the corpse for days. Didn’t even realize that if brother Jeremy wasn’t moving or breathing it meant he was dead.
Melinda: No!
Delaney: Yes, yes. [getting carried away a little] They only found out about it a week later because it smelled so bad whenever they walked past the house. And you know the oddest thing?
Melinda: And what is that?
Delaney: The Bargads, Jarkins, and Geroks all searched inside and outside the house, but they couldn’t find Jeremy’s body!
Melinda: Goodness!
Delaney: The last date of entry in his diary is precisely a week before and there is no trace of him afterward.
Melinda: Then what about the smell?
Delaney: Smelling right like roses the next day, they said. Someone must have cleaned it all up in midnight when no one would notice.
Melinda: Mighty kind of the man.
Delaney: Or woman.
Melinda: yes, yes.
Delaney: And mighty secretive too. Why would you do that?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hey there, Junel here for a review day review!
This is very interesting. It's setting the scene for the story ahead, giving us the perfect amount of background information in an interesting way.
This is the only line I found slightly confusing. Upon reading it a second time I understood, but seeing as this is a play, the audience is never going to get to hear a line twice. I think it's just a bit long, so consider breaking it up a bit.
You give us a slight look into the character's personalities, mainly Delaney. She seems like a sort of gossip definitely, but I don't really know much about Melinda's personality.
I'm interested to see where this will go next and I hope my review is helpful to you.
Sláinte -Junel
This is very interesting and I'm curious to see what happens next I do find the layout slightly confusing almost even though the story is clear and understandable,I like the way you chose to write it and how each line leaves you hanging wanting to know what happens next. Although I would prefer if you would have given more background on the characters I feel the blankness in that part fits in really well with what is happening, wounderful job so far.