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An Ode to the Do'ers

by IIsKaylaIsMe


An Ode to the Do’ers

I would like,

to take a minute,

and celebrate.

Celebrate the creators.

The do’ers and the dreamers.

The brave ones.

The ones who persevered.

The ones who rose up

no matter how hard others tried

to hold them

down.

Thank you,

to the creators.

Thank you,

to the do’ers and the dreamers.

The brave ones.

And those who perservered.

All those who rose up

no matter,

how hard others tried,

to hold them

down.

Thank you,

for just being you.

Thank you,

for inspiring so many.

Thank you!

The poetic devices used in this poem are:

-Please give me some helpful feedback, so that i can revise it and make it better...


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Sun Sep 27, 2015 9:37 pm
copgraveyard wrote a review...



Do'ers don't exist.

Drop here, this wasn't something that I liked. You projected a very simple idea that has been said many many times and you made me read something that I could have reviewed without even looking at it. I found no poetic devices used in this poem. This didn't feel like a poem, just like you talking. Poems should feel like poems, not this. Great to know that you are thanking the Do'ers, but you need to be fresh and new when you do that. If not, you get something that fails to impress the reader.

thanks.




IIsKaylaIsMe says...


Well, thank you for your feedback. Next time, keep it to your self. I did not ask for the negativity.



copgraveyard says...


How about you actually accept reviews? You can't do that?
Then don't post.



IIsKaylaIsMe says...


I did accept your feedback AND I DO BELIEVE THAT WROTE IT, but I just didn't agree with the negativity i felt behind it. AGAIN, THANK YOU FOR YOUR FEEDBACK.



copgraveyard says...


ACCEPT THE FEEDBACK



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Sun Sep 27, 2015 8:44 am
niteowl wrote a review...



Hi there Kayla! Niteowl here to review for the Crafty Scribbles this fine Review Day!

Overall, I like the theme here. It's good to celebrate the people who do good in the world. However, I think this could benefit from being a little more specific. Pick an example of someone you consider worthy of celebrating and show us how they work and persevere. I think that would add a lot of life to the poem.

A word about punctuation: it's not consistent how you're punctuating the poem, and it's throwing me off. At first, you punctuate at the end of every line, but then you don't. While there's some leeway in punctuating poetry, I always suggest following standard grammatical rules until you gain more experience and find a different style. There's no reason to have a comma at the end of every line, and in fact it just makes this piece feel choppy.

Overall, this has a nice message and I hope you got a good grade. Keep writing! :)




IIsKaylaIsMe says...


Thank you so much for the positive critisism! I really appreciate it :-D



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bernardo23 wrote a review...



Deleted for review spam.




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Sat Sep 12, 2015 6:29 pm
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Steggy wrote a review...



Hello!

Stegosaurus here for a review!

To begin, I like this poem- it gives a happy feeling to whoever is reading it and it could relate to how someone could feel about the doers, and could do the things the doers do. Also I enjoyed the literary terms in this poem as rhyming and tone/dication in here. There are a few things I like to point out in this poem and that would be the structure. Some poets used the structure you have where they use little stanza to create the mood of the poem but for this poem, I feel like it is forced. However, you may wish to keep it (I am just pointing out something that could be thought to change.)

Also the repetition in this poem doesn't seem to fit the poem as itself- yet in some parts of the poem it works well. Try centering your ideas around an object (which in this case is a the appreciation of the doers of the world and how they helped us) and led on from there. Again, as a fellow writer, I would suggest these and in turn you don't have to take them.

The end of the poem "The poetic devices used in this poem are:" should be left out since you didn't finish what the devices were and let the reader seek the devices you used, that is how most people find the message in a poem.

Overall, this was a lovely poem. I enjoyed the conveying message and theme of being a doer is not bad in this world and if you are one, we thank you. If you have an questions or want me to rephrase something, let me know.

Steggy




IIsKaylaIsMe says...


thank you, i wrote this for a school assingment and havent gotten my grame on it yet and i guess i was just feeling anxious.




It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.
— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind