Published February 6, 2010
The darkness engulfs you
Nowhere to hide
The man in the dark will bring another attack
The end must be nigh
The light in the window must be a crack in the sky
Disobeying the word of Him
There’s nothing you can do as the night closes in
It will all be over soon
It’s the right time to say goodbye
You might meet them at another time
Lights fade
Curtains close
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Canary word: Present
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Hey Aries nice job on the poem. I personally think this is a great poem but without the amount of detail I would like. It seems as if the poem is rushed to be finished. As bear said, it doesn't have much imagery. No picture comes into my mind as I read this. As you can see, I'm not the best reviewer, but I would suggest working on this and rewriting it. Again, its still a great poem when it comes to stating what is happening, but try to improve on the little key words that make up a picture.
Hello! I think this poem shows potential, but it's not quite there yet. The major thing it's missing is imagery. You have hints of it at the end, with the theatre reference, but that's not enough. Truly effective poems evoke emotions through image. In fact, that's what makes them so powerful. Imagery conveys emotions, feelings, sounds, anything imaginable and when done right the sensory result can be incredible.
When constructing an image, it's key to remember that you can convey an abstract idea (hate, love, etc...) with concrete things. That is what many poets do. How much feeling does the word "love" itself have? Or other things the reader can't really get a grasp of? They don't have much meaning out of context because they are abstract and while they may name things like emotions their range of meaning is too large. Narrow it down. Take things. Some poets draw up a scene. Others, tiny snapshots rolled into one mosaic.
Read a lot of poetry, as much as you can find, and you'll get better quickly. And keep writing, as much as you can. If you write and you read and you experiment, your potential will see itself through.