Lucky Day

Hi. I think this wasn't fabulous or bad, just something in between. I don't think it is something like a lyrics because it didn't set up with any tune I made. Maybe you have something else in mind. Well, it sounded more like a poem rather than lyrics. Keep writing!!!!!

[quote="Howler"]Is your day doin' well at all?
Are you finding hurdles every step that you go?
Well I feel sorry for you, really I do,
but I gotta tell you that got no troubles like you do (That got no troubles what? I think you're missing some phrasing, just re word it if it doesnt work with your rythem skcheme.)

but I'll hope you end up as lucky as me
and I hope you'll get a lucky day like me

I'm havin' my fun in the littlest things,
'cuz with my luck the little joys start to get bigger
Ain't a speedbump or problem too big or scary
that I can't solve with that thing that makes me happy

I hope you've ended up as lucky as me
and I hope you're havin' a lucky day like me

I see you're lookin' for a four leaf clover
Here borrow mine, maybe it'll help you find one too
You might as well keep it, I got more than enough
by the way, it may seem risky, but can I have your number?

I hope you've ended up as lucky as me
and I hope you're havin' a lucky day like me

Murphy's Law ain't gonna get me down
I'm far too happy for it run into the ground
It'll end soon enough, but before it does
I'll enjoy my lucky day and hope you have one too

So without further ado, I'll send you my wishes
and trust me, I'm serious, I really do;
I hope you've ended up as lucky as me
and I hope you're havin' a lucky day like me

I said I hope you've ended up as lucky as me
and I hope you're havin' a lucky day like me[/qu



Really all I can say about this is your word shortenings and slang cut ups of these different words kind of detracts from it all, like you pushed this thing to sound improper, like people who style their hair into bedhead.

It really diddnt read as inspired, mostly a kind of rant really, reiterating the main point, which is what most songs are, but really this was just... bland.

Murphy's Law? most people wont get that.

Just saying.

Keep it up.