E - Everyone

Calculus Boy's Very Bad School Day

Written on the back of my maths quiz while I was waiting for everyone to finish. Calculus boy is the little flashing dot on your graphing calculators :).

Calculus Boy’s Very Bad School Day

     Once upon a time there was a very sick boy. This boy’s name was Calculus boy. Calculus boy didn’t know what to do, he had two quizzes in calculus this week and two tests elsewhere. He was faced with a choice between taking the quizzes and tests and probably do poorly on them due to his massive headache, or he could stay home to rest, thus receiving a less than satisfactory grade in multiple classes. “Blast you, grades!” Calculus boy cursed at the air. Calculus boy’s mother told him doing calculus would certainly make him feel better. Alas, she was wrong. Calculus boy went to class and failed his quizzes, scored the worst he’d ever done on a psychology test, and then went home feeling more miserable than he had at the day’s beginning. “Looks like you were right,” Calculus boy moaned as he slumped into his room. “Going to school didn’t make me feel better,” he groaned, positive that his parents really meant him the opposite of whatever they told him. 

      Calculus boy’s mother walked away from Calculus boy’s bedroom door and into the kitchen. She placed her palms face down on the table and repeated the phrase in a hushed and solemn whisper. 

     “Blast you, grades!” 

Comments & reviews · 5
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Eddie
Review
Eddie wrote a review · Sun Mar 24, 2013 4:09 pm

Okay, no offence, but the beginning is a bit confusing. And you could have also added in a bit of description (about Calculus boy or about the story itself). That's not to say that the story is bad. It's good and I think that the protagonist (Calculus Boy) is you (Blast me if I'm wrong :P)

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anirban
Review
anirban wrote a review · Thu Mar 21, 2013 6:04 pm

I really don't know what it is. The way you started was itself not correct :

"Once upon a time there was a very sick boy. This boy%u2019s name was Calculus boy."

You could have simply used, "Once upon a time there was a very sick boy by the name of Calculus " and could have continues with the story. Also, why you mention sick, I couldn't figure out. The article highlights none of his sickness traits whatsoever when it was expected to. And also, the name Calculus boy seemed more like a drag to me. See that's not how you generate humor. The whole thing made no sense to me, I'm sorry. Try something more realistic next time and if not then something that people can easily relate to. That helps elevating the humor quotient. Keep writing. Cheers!

This is kind of confusing.you see when i started to read this i thought it was about the dot on a graphing calculator. But alas i twas not I do like how you had little sprinkles of humor on a could be better sundae. so you should practice with leads so readers do not get confuzzled. and you do not what that! but all in all its decent so BLAST YOU GRADES!!!!!!!

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Jonathan
Comment

You could tack out that once upon a time thing.
(Well you weren't right going to school didn't make me fell better) might be better.
What is a Calculus bot.

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BadNarrator
Review

I'm not sure I understand the purpose of this story. You stated "Calculus boy is the little flashing dot on your graphing calculators." That's an intriguing concept but I don't really see anything in the text that addresses that.

As it stands now this appears to be an extremely minimalist story about a schoolboy struggling with his grade. It's in the humor section so I think the story is meant to be satirical. But I'm just not seeing that. It's silly, yes, almost cartoonish in terms of the dialogue. But humor in writing isn't just about being wacky. All stories, even comical ones, should include at least a modest air of catharsis. A humorist story uses comedy to make a statement about something more abstract. "What is this story about?" is the question you should be asking yourself in revision. And after that, "How can I make that come through in the text?" The purpose of this story doesn't necessarily have to be something profound, but it needs to make some kind of statement.

Going back to the flashing dot thing. I think a story written from the point of view of a calculator, or even a blip on the screen of a calculator, has the potential to be very insightful and funny. Which is why I was disappointed that you didn't explore that in the story.

It reminds me of a very interesting short story I read in a graduate thesis by an author named Brian Beglin. The story was written from the perspective of a shower faucet and through its metal faceplate we get a small window into the troubled life of a young wife, her adulterous husband and their young son. I don't know if the story has ever been published but I would look it up if I were you. It's called "Home Invasion" and I think reading it would give you a sense of direction when writing about inanimate objects.



"I think; therefore, I am."
— René Descartes