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First work: What I will write about

by HorseLover26


hello I'm HorseLover26,

I will write about my life and what I think about things. We all have our own opinions about things so please don't judge. A little about me, I love animals especially horses, im a city girl though sometimes I wish I grew up as a country girl, I don't have many friends nor do I want to be the center of attention, I'm the girl who stays at home playing video games while everyone else goes to a school dance. Now I'm gonna go to sleep it's currently 2am. See you tomorrow, maybe, hopefully that's if I'm not sleeping in. Bye now


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1727 Reviews


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Sun Sep 10, 2017 3:50 pm
BluesClues wrote a review...



Hi, HorseLover!

I'm going to start off by echoing Kays - if you're looking for more of a blog entry, you can post that for free in your blog! Just go to the right-hand side of the Blogs section and click "write a new entry." Or, to view, your blog, click "my blog." To choose a theme, click the gear tab to the left of the home tab at the top of the page - once you're in settings, choose the blog tab and have at it!

Of course, if you're looking for feedback on your entries, to improve your writing, you're free to continue publishing blog entries as literary works instead! We just like to recommend the blog for blogging since it doesn't cost any points to post there.

From your name I almost had to text my sister and see if she'd joined the site! She doesn't write, but she also loves horses, so just your name made me think of her. It was interesting to find out from your blog post that you're actually not from a rural area but love horses and the idea of living in the country. If you're looking to expand on this, I think that's a good place to start! What is it that you love about horses? Have you ever ridden a horse? What about the country? Is it the "not liking to be the center of attention" that makes you sometimes wish you'd grown up in the country, or is it something else?

If you have any questions, you can ask members with names in green, orange, or red for help.

Welcome to the site!
BlueAfrica

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Sun Sep 10, 2017 3:48 pm
CaptainJack wrote a review...



Hey there HorseLover26 and welcome to YWS.

As the previous reviewer mentioned, this isn't exactly the appropriate placement for your work here. They had mentioned blogs or wall post but I personally think, that you could put this in the welcome mat. There you would get more of a grand welcome from the greeters and maybe more people to connect with you.

You may want to work on sentence structure and grammar before you proceed to post any works on sight. Most of the paragraph above is made up of a single run on sentence, so if this is a continuing trend in your writing, it could drive people away. YWS is a place where we critique each other's writing for points, so we can go out and post our own works. You've use up your free 200 points with this welcome post so if you like, I can give you a loaner 200 points to get on the way.

Horses are cool man. I've been riding for the past 10/11 years so I certainly share your opinion on them. And I was the country girl who wished she'd grown up somewhere besides the country. A lot of my writing used to be equestrian centered. If you'd like to have a chat about it sometimes, just drop me a line via PM.

As I'm also a Knight of the Green Room, I should tell newcomers about it. You'll see us being active around the site this month because it is currently Review Month. (Yes we have a whole celebration for it.). If you want to joins the Knights, which is basically a team of reviewers, drop by the KotGr great hall. You can get to it by going to forums -> lounge -> KotGR.

Good luck to you on your travels across the site.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask anyone in green. I am a gen lit junior moderator so if you need help with a chapter, a short or an essay, I'm the one to call.
Have a nice day.
~Liz




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Sun Sep 10, 2017 3:24 pm
Kaylaa wrote a review...



Hi there HorseLover26! Since this is in the Green Room, I may as well hop in and give this a review even though this seems more appropriate being a wallpost or a blog. Both of those don't cost any points to post whereas a literary work costs 200 points. That definitely isn't to say that you can't of course! Just a word of advice because all literary works have to be reviewed before being swept out of the Green Room and...that can be difficult when somebody is only talking about their day or something of that sort. Both wallposts on your profile and Blogs section are free of charge though if you want to save yourself some points! ;)

As a Knight of the Green Room though I'll put my thoughts and advice about that aside and delve into critique. While I enjoyed having an insight to the life of...you. While I enjoyed having insight to your life and what kind of person you identify as, there's not as much of a proper structure here and we're only given one paragraph. If your life was a book then I see this as a bit of the synopsis. That being said, I wanted to touch on the part about the city girl/country girl--I grew up in quite a small village and while there's not as many people here, wouldn't being in a place with a small amount of people give each individual person more attention because there are less people to talk about or be around? I can't say I'm the most social and that's an area I actually have issues in, I can't say I'm anti-social either?

Naturally, I don't like being around people that I don't like. I like being around people that I like which is why I don't see myself as an introvert or extrovert and rather somewhere in the middle. In the city, there are more people which means it's probably easier to be overlooked? I can't say if that's true (I can only speculate) because I've never lived in a large city of people for a long period of time. I can agree that there are less people which is probably what you'd prefer it seems. The grammar can be done a little better (some places aren't capitalized and at other places there isn't punctuation where punctuation should be) but overall I'd enjoy seeing this as more of a memoir?

Because this is in the Other category, that's what I'd suggest if you're hoping to write about your life. I realize this isn't a traditional review and I'd usually be more analytical or critical, but there's not much to critique! Nice to meet you, HorseLover26. I hope you end up enjoying YWS as much as I do.

If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! I hope I helped and have a great day.


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We think in generalities, but we live in details.
— Alfred North Whitehead