Young Writers Society

This was a good poem, solidly written, and yes it DOES suck when a character or element of the story doesn't quite mesh together...much like this poem doesn't quite work for me. For starters, I know that comedy is subjective and can be hard to explain, but I still don't understand WHY he doesn't work (plenty of books and TV have that one funny character who works just fine) or WHY he isn't funny. You need to explain, not just give an example I think, because giving examples to show how awesome the other characters were, didn't convince me they were so great. (In fact, one sounded like a character in a few episodes of Xena: Warrior Princess, a show which blends action and comedy really well.) Maybe if I knew the book you were talking about and had read it, the additional context would help me like this poem more, because you certainly have the poetic chops: I just think perhaps this topic needs more fleshing out, and is more suitable as the subject of an essay.

I loooved this poem !! there's just such a unique style to it. So lets begin with the review :p
The structure is really interesting, I can't even fathom how frustratingly difficult it must've been to edit your poem this way. I have no words.
Now on to the content, this is about a book clearly, but is it an actual book ? I thought it was Percy Jackson at first, with Athena and Elizabeth. But yeah, there's no Wizard Dune because wow that'd be weird. So is it a mix of different characters ? Is it about a book I've never heard about ? Or is it just random characters you made up ? Who knows.
For grammar, there isn't much to say, maybe except sometimes you add in majuscules as in "Kind Elizabeth" or "Comic Relief" when there is no need for those. Well unless she's called Kind and Comic Relief is actually the name of the character.
I really liked that someone finally talked about a comic relief and not the main characters or the villain or the sidekick or something, it's pretty refreshing. We get so used to bad comic reliefs that we don't realise their presence is just as important as any other MC in a book.
But really, not much to say, it's a simple, clean poem- and it's effective in it's own way.
Also, for a poem written the "writers way" (otherwise known as "in the middle of the night") this is really impressive ! and you also have weird poetry ideas at midnight 😂

Hi there! First of all, you should be so proud of yourself! Writing a poem with a rhyme scheme is no easy feat without making it sound forced, and I'd like to open by saying that you did a fantastic job. There are almost no rhymes in here that sound like you had to search for them with RhymeScheme, which is always a good sign.
I think that the message/story of this poem is joyously simple. You aren't trying to make something out of nothing and you aren't saying nothing, either. Your poem has a simple point that it proves easily and well without stretching, and it's a message that I think that many of us can relate to. Not sure if this is what you intended, but I definitely read this partly as sort of outgrowing a series that you've grown up with, which is a feeling I have experienced as well. It's always slightly sad to watch yourself grow up, but realizing that things really aren't that funny can sometimes be a moment of maturing.
Keep up the great work!!