Hi Hopkin!

This seems a little bit like a journal, which could be a cool style for your writing. Is this a revised version of a beginning to one of your stories, and are you using it as the prologue to a future story? Are you planning on creating characters, a setting, conflict, or any other elements? I would like to see how this all comes together.

I had some trouble following the line of thought. I think it could be better organised, in that each idea should be separated and expanded upon in a logical way. I don't see how it leads into a story, or that it is a story in itself. I would suggest reading samples of prologues online, or finding a book that has one, to see how it is written. Maybe it will give you a better idea of how to write one. The questions about random things, and the thought or speech quotations were a little confusing. I could see the point in what you were saying, but they could have had more depth and description.

I hope you keep writing, and I'll definitely check out anything new from you. You've got my support.

Kora

So I put this up, and it did different things then I thought, but can't fix it, so if things are too close, I didn't do it, I know I got better at it, okay now Review all you like! please tell me what you all think.