The flower

Hello CapitalMonday here for a review for you. I must say this poem isn't that bad when it comes to tone or imagery. This poem remains me of human life (in a sense) since in the beginning we are climbing our way up towards new light. Sometimes dangers are in our way as we continue upward and we still continue on. The more we grow the more we continue to use our talents with us; pollen=talent. Then when we reach that time in life, people begin to see our talents and realize that we can use our talents for our jobs we have later in life .

Also when the rain falls onto the flower, its like getting a complaint from some one and you continue to grow and grow. The flower- and you- continue to grow without anyone stopping you and you do the stuff you enjoy then one day, you just stop growing and someone says horrible things about you which you can't stop.

You decrease in size and no one cares about you, you are dying the dirt wanting to be watered but you are just left there to die,

This isn't really a "review" but I hope you enjoy and keep writing!
CapitalMonday

Hi there! Cute poem you got in here. It's like giving life to the life of a flower and giving it a deep meaning that you successfully did with your creative writing skills.

To me, it seems like the flower represents people's lives (well, that is how I see it, your point of view might be different). Like how a person would have "the petals".

"Look at the petals.
They haven't yet bloomed."

It's like, in my opinion, every person is a flower. Flowers have petals, and whether this petal is fully bloomed or not, flowers do have them. And petals are still petals. Those who have bloomed well, then great. But to those petals who have not yet shown its beauty, that is coming soon.

"The flower is starting to bloom and settle.
Where the waters are being consumed.
In the midst of the seeds being combined.
You can tell it's ready to bloom."

On this part, I admit I got a bit excited already and I was like 'Ohhhh the climax is about to come". And when I was reading those first three lines I was whispering to myself like a mad person I was like there you go there you go almost there... And that last line got me like THERE!!!

"There goes one petal coming out.
Then two.
The pollen is starting to increase.
The bees all standing around.
Waiting to suck up the pollen and make honey.
It is exciting indeed.
Now it's time to bloom."

Now on this part, I literally can imagine a flower and behind it were cheerleaders cheering like, "way to go flower! bloom!!!" That might be weird but anyways, so in this stanza, to me it shows how the flower is FINALLY starting to grow and show how pretty it is. Those bees being attracted was just the proof. And I find this stanza really really cute, to be honest.

Now on the last part, what I liked the most on the last stanza was the last two lines:

"It is only a few days it will last.
It enjoyed it's life it had to live."

I can see the metaphor in here. And suddenly I thought, maybe this flower is like our lives. It's limited. Everything is limited. Like how a flower would live for just days or weeks, the moments that take our breath away in our lives will only last for a short time only. And like how the flower enjoyed the last few moments of its life, we should also make the most out of our limited lives and get the best out of it. Anyway, let me just tell this, hehe, in the last line, I guess you should have removed the apostrophe on "it's" and the sentence would just be:

"It enjoyed its life it had to live"

And that is because it shows possession. The flower owns the 'life' you were talking about, so there's no need for the apostrophe since we're not talking about abbreviations here

So yeah, that's all I have to say. Keep writing beautiful things like this!

I noticed most of you all don't like my ending. I ended as a way of mother nature. Flowers only last a few days. They live their life for as long as they can.

Hey, Hope!
I love this poem! Your descriptive writing skills are superb! I just wanted to let you know that actually, bees drink nectar, not pollen. They spread the pollen around as they go from flower to flower, so it is easy to confuse. I probably sound like a jerk and a know-it-all, but I just wanted to let you know in case you would like to change it.
Keep writing your beautiful poetry!
~Cat

Hi! My name is Dianne and I am going to review your poem

First off, I thought your structure was an interesting choice and I like that you start out simple with fragments and build into complete sentences.

I wasn’t sure about the word “bloom,” though. Having it repeated so many times throughout the poem suggests that there is something important about the word, something different about it with every repetition, but I’m not seeing that in your poem. I think it would be better to have it once or twice throughout the poem, but not so many times as it is now.

I also think I understand what you mean by the fifth line: The experience is exciting yet boring. However, it’s a contradiction that doesn’t give insight into what you actually mean.

It’s alright to have a bit of abstraction in a poem, but it is concrete images that create that abstraction and the image here is a blooming flower, and the word “boring” retracts from that image.

I admit, though, that you have some good words like “stumble,” “consumed,” and “combined.” You create nice, grounded images.

I like the image of a bee standing in the second stanza, but I feel as though that may not be the proper word for this image. I think making the scene more active like as if the bees are flying around in a frenzy or they buzz excitedly or something like that will make the second stanza more powerful.

I love the personification of the flower in the third stanza. That stanza is near perfect right now, but I think the last line takes away from the energy you built up until that point. I think if you reword the second to last sentence and get rid of the last sentence altogether, this poem would end on a soft and powerful note.

Overall, I think you wrote a lovely poem and I love the images you created as well as your use of personification, but it could use some work. Also, these are just suggestions. You decide what is best for your poem.

Keep writing,
Dianne

Hi Hope19--a warm welcome to YWS! If you ever have any questions, just contact me and I'll be happy to help.
Ok, so first things first imma realist I have an objection to the format. It may be just me, but the bold and italics hurts my brain. I don't know if you were trying to make it powerful or not, but it would still be powerful in regular ol' font.
Second off, your title, the flower, is repeated in your first line. I'd say this isn't necessary--if it's already your title, I don't see much point in making it the first line of the poem; we already know what the poem focuses on.
Ok, now here is some of the stuff I liked before I go in depth on my suggestions for the body of the poem.

As the leaves stumble up the vine.

The flower enjoys the drink for it's dying thirst.

The experience is exciting yet boring.

It is only a few days it will last.

It enjoyed it's life it had to live.