Hey there! Eli here for a lovely review of your work.
It was an interesting story even if I still can not really tell what the real purpose of it was. I can tell you are kind of new here? So if it is proper, welcome to YWS! I am glad you decided to join and let us read your work. I see it is your first one, I think you did great for a first work in the site. Now, with the issues, aside from my likings of this work, I think that you let minor mistake pass through and happen. To be seen by us, readers and reviewers, the story goes not such a long way and does not tell us much. It does not leave us satisfied with information, mystery or whatsoever of this kind. Everything is basic and very neutral. The MC is alone in their house and find a cat that found a way in during the late afternoon to night hours. It is windy outside, maybe stormy, we get it from the beginning. But after that description of the weather, you suddenly turned it into something of the horror genre? Suspense maybe? It would shock each reader and actually confuse him. It is great to have different styles, genres, scenes, whatever in your work, but it needs to be united with the rest around it. It needs to collide into each other, mix into one and create one lovely short story!
With that left aside, I feel like the ending is rushed. I see why they are scared from the cat but the 'Oh how scary it meows' part was just making me laugh. It sounds sacrastic even.
Besides that, we have some other issues, minor ones as I said earlier. I will try to cover up some to show examples.
For this chilly wind, I had rejected any requests for which I would be required to leave the house.
Since my awake till now,
Now I was enveloped by a darkness.
I yawned,Istretched, then headed over to the mirror in the ray lit room.
If I had not been familiar with the steps, I would be certain to fall, particularly on this very weary morning.
Once I reached the end of the steps, I sawin the house,a cat.
Oh, it occurred to me that I had left the windows of the small cabin where our food stock was kept open.
Suddenly, a new curiosity had struck me to know exactly what the animal had been so occupied with so as not to even take note of me being there.
At this point, I knew the animal was licking something.
Something coloured in red,
Oh, the horror.
I feared to follow its steps so as not to lead it on to believe in a friendship or that I was being amiable while I understood that I should not haul an item at it or hint aggression towards its proceeding action..
And the impending doom (no comma) certainly was directed at me. On realization of this, I fell into a sadness more profound if I could say, than the depths of the sea.
Keep on writing!
Points: 21027
Reviews: 485
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