Okay so poetry is good. Ancient style poetry is great. Sometimes I myself attempt poems in the ancient Norse Eddic style.
I think formatting is an issue here although I cannot really know what you are going for so I cannot say, it just looks like prose.
I dont really care for the phrase 'Hey Lady' it just doesn't sound pretty to me but I guess thats personal taste. However: I do really like how you follow up 'hey lady' with a different description after each use.
Third to last line you use the word 'worth' and I think it should be 'worthy'. Also 'pity' has only one 't'
There are good bones here I think. However I personally feel like it needs quite a bit of work.
Good luck, keep working hard!
PM me with any questions or comments regarding my review.
Points: 897
Reviews: 44
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