Breaking Rules

by HessicaJolt

Published April 12, 2011

I sat on the petal of the rose, and stared out at the world beyond me. I wasn't supposed to be here, I knew that. I should have flew right back to my small faerie village. Right now I would be in Faerie History with Mrs. Honeysuckle, but who would want to be near that evil woman. Her hair tied back in a greasy bun, her face wrinkly and un-kindly to the eyes. She was the oldest of us in town, which is most likely the reason she knew everything about history.

I stared out at the scene playing in front of my eyes. The Chaun village stood out bright and green. Happy little red-headed leprechauns ran around singing their songs of happiness, and booze. I was jealous of this village, being so happy and beautiful. Full of love, and joy instead of hatred and sadness. Faerie elders were mean, and wanted the village to be contained and secret from the rest of the world. They also hated the Chauns, calling them outrageous and loud. Being neighbors with them seemed like a torture for the beady eyed winged creatures who looked more like crows, than the beautiful people we were made to be.

A noise from my left startled me and I leaped into the air, staring down to see what had created it.

"Hello? I didn't mean to startle you. I apologize." I gasped as a leprechaun gently hopped out of the bushes, and sat on the petal I was just lying on.

His hair was a deep shade of red, and his face was pale and thin. His arms were lanky and long, and the same with his legs. Something about him made butterflies flutter around in my stomach.

"I've never seen a faerie before." He said in awe as he watched my wings flutter in the air.

"I've seen plenty of you." I said, trying to sound smug and stuck up like my father usually did. If I didn't, this poor fellow might actually think that he could follow me back. Then Mother Nature knows what he would do.

"Well, I'm pretty sure a faerie is keener to the eyes." He said, grinning wildly at me. I kept the corners of my mouth from turning up, but my cheeks flushed wildly.

"You should have more respect." I said, settling down on the nearest leaf.

"I apologize, my lady, I should have known better. All of you faeries think your better than the rest, don't you." He said softly. It was more of a statement than a question, but I took no offense. He was right. We were stuck up snooty creatures.

Tying my dark, auburn hair into a bun, I flew down to the petal next to him and sat down.

"I should be the one apologizing. Faeries are stuck up, but I like to think that I'm different. My names Hailey. Hailey Petal." I said, jutting out my right arm. He grabbed my elbow, and bowed his head. I did the same.

"Nice to meet you, Hailey. My name is Scotty Tearl." He replied flashing another grin. I took another look at his features. His face was covered in cute, orange freckles, and his eyes were a stunning shade of green. At the one touch, I knew there was something more. I also knew that this would start a lot of problems. Another thing I knew, was that I was falling in love.

Comments & reviews · 7
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lyra Review
lyra wrote a review Review · Apr 27, 2011

nice piece! .i really love it.. ,it made me smile :)
but it's too short, i guess.. .maybe you could write what had happen to them.
but it's all about love at first sight and it's really nice..
keep writing!

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Peach
Review
Peach wrote a review Review · Apr 27, 2011

It was great and rich in deatil. Your writing is very flowing and easy to keep reading. Once I started, I didn't stop. But also, it was missing a focused plot.

You start off making the reader think you'll talk about skipping school and the intricacies of faerie society, then go to wanting people to know about faeries, then back to faerie society, then to talking to a leprechaun your MC falls in love with. You could make all the details flow together by making it longer. Remember- only add the details the reader needs to understand the story. If it's a love story, we might not need to know what your MC's teacher looks like. You could also add more to the MC's personality, after reading this I barely feel like she's a person( faerie). Make her say things that really make her personality. Gosh, I hope i'm not being to harsh of critical! :/ This is one of my first reviews, I'm not very good yet.

Hope I helped!
-Peach

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NLPrincess13
Review
NLPrincess13 wrote a review Review · Apr 26, 2011

I felt I'm watching tinker bell or something.
the plot is very good, i like your idea of it.... love it, it should be part 2 or something! :D
keep up and update us with your fairy dusted pieces :D

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Busheldood
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Busheldood commented Comment · Apr 15, 2011

Lovely, I liked the plot of this one. I'd Love to hear more of it ;)

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Echo090
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Echo090 commented Comment · Apr 15, 2011

Very nice. I like it.

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Temi
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Temi commented Comment · Apr 14, 2011

Nice piece! It sound's like it came from the imaginations of a young child vibrant and alive. Nice one! Keep writing

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Soulkana
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Soulkana commented Comment · Apr 13, 2011

Awesome I really like it. Made me smile and want to join in haha. Well good luck and keep writing. I shall await more. Good luck and Happy Writing!!!
Soulkana<3



FRIED FISH ON A FALAFEL
— hop (TheHoplessRomantic)