z

Young Writers Society



To God

by Heather_BlackCain


To God

I’m sorry,
But it’s like a star falling in day…
And God,
I still don’t know how to say,
I’m sorry,
But death will take me soon…
And God,
She still just stares toward the doom.

You can’t be like this,
Yeah, everything’s come back to this…
You’ll never take it down,
Yeah, it’s just like the sound,
Of me screaming…

I’m sorry,
But I just can’t go away…
And God,
You still don’t want to say,
I’m sorry,
But the pain will never come…
And God,
Please tell me that she’s done.

You can’t be like this,
Yeah, I’ll never forget this…
You’ll always come around,
Yeah, it’s just like the sound,
Of me dying…


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Thu Sep 07, 2006 8:22 pm
xanthan gum says...



This sounds more like song lyrics than anything. It would sound prettier with a melody. I agree with DD.




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Thu Sep 07, 2006 7:15 pm
Dream Deep wrote a review...



Great job!

Heh, I kept going through saying 'this one's my favorite stanza... no, this one'.

Not too profound and lyrical, but nice nontheless.

Good job! :wink:




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Mon Sep 04, 2006 7:15 am
Shine says...



Starting was a bit sudden and confusing.
Body was fine.But the starting makes the whole piece confusing.

Keep writing.:)





Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
— Mark Twain