Published September 3, 2006
Never
There’s nothing I can say to you…
And there’s nothing I can do.
There just can’t be a single dream,
That I can place for you…
There’s everything they do to you…
And there’s nothing I can do.
There isn’t a remembrance worth,
A life or death from you…
Never in a million years,
Could I regain your trust.
Never in a single day,
Could I do the things I must.
Never in a legacy,
Could I take back my place.
Never in a deed or act,
Could I look at your face.
There’s only hate and lust to you…
And there’s nothing I can do.
There will never be a feeling,
Where I can forgive you…
There’s nothing I can give to you…
And there’s nothing I can do.
There is a world where I can live,
Where there never was a “you”…
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,311 Literary Works • 674,340 Reviews
I liked this para very much.
Ending was no wonder really good.
In all I would say fantastic.
yeah, the 'never' word was over-used and the rhyming a bit forced at times.
it was more of a repetation throughout.
but the last line is awesome. well done for that!
A lot of parts are redundant and the rhyming is a bit forced. Work on this, first.