Palip wrote:I don't know why, but I feel as if the word "endearing" isn't the right word. Make Peter do something, like "hugging her from impulse", or use another word.

I absolutely agree with you, Palip. I have to admit, I used a dictionary for that without even knowing what I was actually looking for. But I don't want to make him hug her; that would seem like a little too much, I think. So if anybody has a better word, I am open to any suggestions!

Wow..this is amazing. To be honest, I have not read Part I and Part II, but if I may judge from this one alone, they are..intriguing to say the least. Please correct me if I'm wrong, for as I said, I haven't read the first two parts. I think you really capture how this woman with a low self-esteem can be taken care of and made to feel perfect IF only one has the courage and patience to reach out to her. This part has little to no mistakes, so you've done a really good job on this one .

“You have no idea how endearing you are!”

I don't know why, but I feel as if the word "endearing" isn't the right word. Make Peter do something, like "hugging her from impulse", or use another word.

I offered her my almost burnt-down cigarette. She looked at it and her eyes shone with the exitement of novelty appeal.

. Exitment should be "excitement". That's all. Keep writing!

Hello again.

We reached the public park that was situated halfway between the between the conservatory and the main station.

Like always, this is close to spotless. Now with the story, we know what's happening with the girl! I like how you made her seem more real, and continued the "problem" until the end. Not just make it disappear as soon as she said it, like most people do. Thank you for that.

Keep writing!

-Other One