No One Is Alone

I really enjoyed your poem. I suppose it is about your life and the fact that that you feel paranoia over what people are saying, and it is saddening, but you have to remember that people are not against you, they are for themselves. I'm happy that the poem ends happily. The part where you say "no one is alone" is comforting. Life has many blessings and sins in it, all you can do is live it. It's good that you love people and that keep you from frowning. Keep on smiling.

From SinisterPotatoe

PS: Thanks for reviewing my poem Sunglasses. I hope to see more works from you in the future.

Awesome poem! I really, really enjoyed this piece and I'm glad that it makes the readers think a bit about their lives and ponder what the true meaning of alone is. Anyways, I think you got the message that you wanted to get out very nicely, but I wish you would fix the structure of this poem and point it into more of a poem-like style. I think it would make it look nicer and it'll be easier to read since it'll have more of a rhythm to it. Other than that, very nice job on this. It's very well done.

I really loved this! The first stanza really spoke to me, as I am starting a new school and I think I'm also feeling like paranoia is coming in trying to convince me of things. I also loved the part where you talk about the blessings you have received, because I think it is so important to remember all the people that have helped you get you to where you are. Thank you for making me feel less alone through this poem! Truly no one is alone.

Hi,
Hello, it is about time for me to start reviewing as I had left it for so long. I feel so sad about it... Nevertheless, your poem had encouraged me for starting it and I have to thank you for it.

The world is small and yes, no one is truly alone. The topic is pretty good and interesting and I like it because I've been going thru a lot of sad events this year and I have to remind myself that I'm not alone. Good job!

Firstly, I think your poem is pretty blunt and need to be sharpen. Be a little secretive and don't tell the people everything about your poem directly. Let the readers figure what is the meaning of your poem gracefully. As an example, a good Haiku is always a weird one that forces the people to think to get its true meaning. For an instance, show and don't tell.

I love the melody in it. So charming and beautiful. Are you a composer?...just a thought. Plus, the tone that I feel is like slow and graceful. Ah, memories... Well, never mind that; pardon me.

As I could see, I don't want to check on the grammatical section because I hate nitpicking. There might be some errors, so please fix it if you can find it. Yet, pardon me for that.
I noticed that you only used the dot(.) after the last word. It isn't wrong, but will you consider putting some salt(the commas) and some sugar(the semicolon) or anything else that suits. As we all know, punctuations in poetry are to make the readers more understand about the poem and to make it easy to read and to follow and to make the flow better.

By the way, I like the way you formatted the poem. I know it is simple, but it eases my eyes, which is good. Simpler is better.

I see this poem as a free verse poem. But rhyme and rhythm is always good. You can also use an approximate rhyme that's not quiet exact. Plus choose your Meter! A pattern of stressed syllables! Yeah, true, almost anything have meter, but to specific it makes anything--not only poem--but anything! It's lovely! Try it! And for the note, make it rhyme...properly...please..

And wow! I see metaphors! BUT I DON'T SEE SIMILES! Similes are great things to put in anything. Lovely words choice. I darn love them! However, there is/are wrongs choice of them. Use your mind, please! And next...you don't explain or even describe anything for the speaker...the persona... Who is speaking in the poem? Is the speaker is you or is it a character created by you? Try to figure it out. You is the god of your writing. You created your own world within your words. It will be easier than you thought.

Lastly, makes everything, every words, counts. You don't want trash in your writing, yes? Make sure to understand everything, each words, on what's its meaning, do the words have synonyms? I repeat, makes everything, every words, counts! And add more images! Everyone loves picture! Because image can be so fresh, so powerful, that it can speak to our deepest feelings. An image can be phrased that it makes the readers feel joy or grief, wonder or horror, love or disgust! I see you used some grief images. Try to describe more!

Thanks for this poem! I hope you'll write more and more, on and on! Never stop writing!

-----Memo~chan

P/s: A lovely statement:

“The poet… should stop and examine what others have missed, whether it be veins on a leaf or the surge of a mob; he should hear what others miss– not just skylarks but the breath of an old man or sleet against the window; he should respond to the feel of a rusted iron railing, a cut, or a gull’s feather; he should identify the variety of city smells and country odors and consider what it is that makes an unoccupied house different from one lived in; and he should taste not only food but pine gum and smog.”
--Stephen Minot

Yes no one is alone indeed,but sometimes you have to be alone with your thoughts to figure out where your life is heading...sometimes alone means to be with yourself...alone with your soul...

I really like this poem, and at the place I am in right now this just highlights what I am feeling perfectly. This poem is just beautiful and sweet and it helps those who are at their lowest point to smile, hold their head up high and remember that you aren't alone.

As someone who enjoys writing poetry and appreciates it, I noticed a slight rhyming pattern which you did not really keep up consistently. This rhyming could have been beautiful if you kept it up, but honestly I think this poem was perfect without it.

Your use of imagery is simple, yet expressive and it helps to create the message you are trying to convey.

My only advice for you in the future is to either keep up the rhyming pattern, or don't rhyme at all.

Hello!

This is a well-written poem that is quite motivational and very emotional. Good job.

When I was reading this poem, I couldn't help but feel like the flow is very awkward.
There is sort of a rhythm, strained into existence by rhyming.
To put it simply, the rhyming sounds very forced. Do remember that it is definitely possible to write a beautiful poem void of rhyme. Do not force it.

Moreover, not only is the rhyming quite forced, there isn't really a pattern to the rhyming. From what I can see, the first verse is:

a
b
b
b
b?
c
c
a

and the second verse is:
d
e
f
e?
e
f
g
h

It just doesn't feel right. If you're going to rhyme, there should be a smooth pattern to it. In this case, I believe that the rhyme is not helping the poem but instead, it is negatively affecting it.

Aside from the major rhyming issue, your line lengths and syllable counts also vary greatly. It's quite uncomfortable to read and can distract your audience due to the lack of repetition.

Overall, I really like the idea behind this poem. It's sweet and simple and the first stanza focuses on the negatives and the second, the positives. Well done.

Hope this helped.
Keep up the good work!


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No-one is alone.
Where do I start?
the first thing I can say is that it's a beautifully written poem, with a strong theme through-out.

it definitely communicates how you feel about this subject and allows people to more easily find themselves in your position, as feeling lonely is one of the more common things people in society feel on a daily basis.

I'm not an expert on poetry, in fact I know very little, but the rhyming order seems a bit off to me and I have to read each line a good two or three times before I can continue on.

perhaps if you were to have consistent 2 line rhyming pattern it would help. this can be seen in the first 3 lines of this wonderful poem
"I hear the empty whispers of things that aren’t about me
But paranoia comes in and tries to convince me otherwise
And now my brain starts to turn counter clockwise"

what you have done is you had a beautiful beginning with
" - the empty whispers of things that aren't about me"
but once you got to the second line you seemed to have started with different rhyme itself.
perhaps if you included two lines of rhyme together like you did underneath the first line it would improve and people can more easily read and follow it without having to read it multiple time.

I can also say the same thing in the second paragraph
"But then I remember the life that I live
The blessings I’ve received even though I have constantly sinned
And even though this anchor continues to bring me down
The people I love will always have happiness to give"

what I can see happening there, is you have the first line of the first rhyme, then a two-line rhyme underneath before you complete the first rhyme in the fourth line.
there are two options you have with this poem
1. you can shorten the two lines in the middle so that it flows easier and the rhyme sandwhich - as it were - could be more easily read and understood.
or
2. you can move the fourth line up underneath the second so you have a continued pattern or two line rhymes continued through-out the poem.

for lines 2 & 3 which are:
"But paranoia comes in and tries to convince me otherwise
And now my brain starts to turn counter clockwise"

you seem to have an unbalanced rhyme because the first line is longer than the second one, which generally wouldn't represent a problem at all, it just results in a bit of difficulty, perhaps tinker with those two lines till they're more equal. I would suggest removing the 'but' at the start of the first line.

these unbalanced lines run through most of the poem, and if it weren't for the fact that its a little confusing, I'd say it was some kind of pattern and leave it alone. it definitely causes for a good read and when it's re-read a number of times the amazing imagery and descriptive words used are certainly emphasised through-out.

for the full-stops and commas in your poem. I can only see one full stop, at the end of the poem at the last line.
this is also a little bit confusing.
a solution to this could be, if you change the format of your poem to a written story, and then add in the full stops and commas where you would normally see them if these were in a story, or a full normal paragraph, then return them (without changing any words unless you want to) to the normal poem format, it should have improved things.

apart from that I can't really see anything else wrong with it.
just apply whatever parts of my advice to your poem if you want to and I look forward to reading more of you work in the future.

well done!
keep writing!!