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Young Writers Society


12+

Percy Jackson Gets a Half Sister - Chapter 1.1

by KateHardy


Chapter 1

Threatening the fates (Don’t try this at home)

No time, No Date, Mess Hall, Timeship Tachyon, Time Stream, Dimension 36

Harry Hardy attacked his breakfast of bacon and eggs. It was breakfast time for the crew although technically time didn’t exist in their current location. They were discussing their newest plan.

“So you think that 36 is going well enough for us to risk this?” asked Jennifer, sitting across the table from him.

“Yeah, we can afford this break, they are done finding out their history and those… grrrg… objects. They will search for them and I’m sure they’ll all be fine. We can return in time for the big showdown. That I’m sure of,” said Harry, through mouthfuls of eggs.

“So you’re going ahead with this other plan?” asked Jennifer, wrinkling her nose at him.

“Hmm… the timeline checks out. I ran all the possibilities past Vankous and Jason and they both agree that this is the best way to subtly turn everything in a better direction. We don’t need as much of a dramatic flip as last time. And if all goes well my other complaint will be dealt with too," he said, winking.

“Oh you and your love stories. What happened to the ‘love isn’t for superheroes guy’?” she asked.

“That is totally unrelated to the current situation.. Can we focus on how we’re going to execute this?” said Harry.

Jennifer rolled her eyes. "I will get to the bottom of that. So, now the main plan is to straight up march into Olympus and get stuff done right?”

“Pretty much, Hopefully they listen to us."

She laughed at that, "Yeah, I can foresee that going down very smoothly.”

“There is a reason that only us celestials are doing this. I wouldn’t put it past Zeus to vaporize the others if they also turn up," said Harry.

“Right you are. So if you’re done imitating a hungry lion, let’s go," she said, getting up.

“I’ll have you know I have amazing table manners," said Harry, shaking his fork at her. Jennifer rolled her eyes and walked out of the mess hall towards the flight deck.

Harry quickly finished up the remains of his breakfast before putting it away in the dishwasher. He also made his way to the flight deck. Today the rest of the seventeen-man crew except for Jason, and Chudnofsky, who they planned to leave in charge during the operation, were all soundly asleep after a day of hunting rogue millipedzilla’s (A type of massive millipede that you should not even attempt to imagine). He made his way to the Captain’s chair and swiveled it around so that he could talk to the others.

“Right, we agreed on that plan and we’re sticking with it. So buckle up. And switch on the containment field for the bedrooms. We don’t want anyone waking up in the middle of a time jump.”

Jennifer instructed the ship’s AuI (Authentic Intelligence) named Hydra to do just that while Harry entered their destination into the navigation console.

He waited till everyone was safely strapped and the containment fields were up before turning the throttles to full power. The massive 400km long timeship hurtled through space, its dimensional destabilizer flashing as it took it into the 42nd dimension and then the temporal delineator activated, guiding it out of the time stream and towards their destination.

1230, 27th July 2013, Above the Empire State Building, Manhattan, New York, Earth, Dimension 42.

Harry guided the ship to a stop about 100,000ft above the massive skyscraper. He could easily see the modern version of Mount Olympus as it hovered above the Empire State Building. It was quite the feat of technomagical engineering. He focused on the ward scheme, evaluating whether to make a dramatic entrance by punching through the protections or taking the regular mortal route. 

The protections were layered. The innermost enchantments were the original ones that had been put in place shortly after the palace was built. Others had been added layer by layer to produce a quite powerful system. He decided that such an ancient and carefully constructed system should not have a gaping hole in it. They were going to have to go up in the elevator.

Harry turned towards his two siblings and Chudnofsky.

“Okay, we’re taking the elevator. Unfortunately, while blasting apart the wards is fun it would also be very rude. Now Nofsky, you’re in command. Anything comes up leave immediately. Don’t wait for us. We probably won’t take long but be prepared."

Nofsky nodded.

"Okay you two. Let’s go," said Harry, nodding towards Jennifer and Jason.

The three of them walked to the ships secondary door. After scanning for any signs of humans, Harry signaled the all clear and walked right out the door jumping down like he was leaping into a bouncy castle. The other two followed suit. As they began to reach terminal velocity, they spread their wings slowing themselves down. Soon they were gliding down at a much slower pace and they gracefully landed in a dark alley. 

They spent some time using the mist to make their outfits resemble normal human clothes so they appeared like three friends on a late night out. They made their way to the building and marched up to the security guard who was also the secret doorkeeper to the entrance to Olympus.

He didn’t bother to look up from his book.

Harry cleared his throat.

“Six hundredth floor.”

It was a huge book with a picture of a wizard on the front and the book must have been pretty good because he took a while to look up.

“No such floor, mister," said the guard, sounding bored.

“I have talk to Zeus, Poseidon and definitely Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos. Like right now.”

He gave him a vacant smile,” Sorry.”

Harry let out a small growl of frustration. “You heard me. I don't have time for games.” 

The guy milked the silence for a while before he finally said, "No appointment, you don’t get an audience. Lord Zeus anyone unannounced and if you want to meet the Fates, you have to wait till one day they come to get ya.”

Harry glanced at Jennifer and raised my eyebrows. She nodded. He turned a questioning glance to Jason. He didn’t look too thrilled but he also gave a small nod.

“Hmm... I think he’ll make an exception mortal,” Harry said his voice hardening, ”now give us the access guard card before I decide that fried minor god is going to be on the menu tomorrow.” He raised his hand to his eye level and let a few sparks of electricity dance across it.

The guard snorted.

"Really, kid?"

Harry rolled his eyes and concentrated. His eyes began to glow a bright dark cyan, lines of shimmering energy rolling down from his face in glowing veins.

"Ekrodo um no, Nar zebra?" he said, lowering his voice and pronouncing each word slowly and deliberately.

The guard gulped. Harry let a little more electricity flow and the guard got the message. He quickly rummaged about for a key card and handed it to Harry. He opened his mouth to talk but Harry just held up his hand and nodded.

The three of them trooped into the elevator. The card was pressed into the slot, causing a button for 600 to appear on the control panel. Jennifer pressed it and the elevator shot upwards as music began playing.


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135 Reviews


Points: 4350
Reviews: 135

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Tue Oct 06, 2020 10:34 pm
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SilverNight wrote a review...



Hey there! I thought I'd come check this out.

This is definitely an interesting take on Percy Jackson, adding some sci-fi elements to the fantasy and mythology that set it apart. It's a good start to whatever story you're planning! I just have some really small punctuation mistakes to point out, so you can go back and know what to fix! I hope they're helpful.

It was breakfast time for the crew although technically time didn’t exist in their current location.


I think this should read, It was breakfast time for the crew, although technically, time didn’t exist in their current location. Adding commas just makes it flow better.

She laughed at that, "Yeah, I can foresee that going down very smoothly.”


Instead a comma after that, it should be a period.

It was a huge book with a picture of a wizard on the front and the book must have been pretty good because he took a while to look up.


I would add commas here to say: It was a huge book with a picture of a wizard on the front, and the book must have been pretty good, because he took a while to look up.

“I have talk to Zeus, Poseidon and definitely Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos. Like right now.”


There's a "to" missing in between "have" and "talk".

“Hmm... I think he’ll make an exception mortal,” Harry said his voice hardening, ”now give us the access guard card before I decide that fried minor god is going to be on the menu tomorrow.”


Just a few more comma edits here, since I think he’ll make an exception, mortal,” Harry said, his voice hardening. ”Now give us...." is more correct.

I'm sure this is going to turn into an interesting story. Thank you for the fun read!




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Sun Oct 04, 2020 11:51 pm
NastyMajesty wrote a review...



Hello @HarryHardy! Maryah poppin in here to give you a review. Okay, so I'll have you know, I'm a HUGE Percy Jackson fan (and basically all the series that Rick Riordan writes), so when I saw this in the green room I was like "omg I must read this". This is a great piece and I could totally see this being a part of the Percy Jackson chain. I just have one super minor nit pick.

Harry quickly finished up the remains of his breakfast before putting it away in the dishwasher.
I know this is SUPER nit picky, but here I am. For some reason, I've never seen Camp Half-Blood as a place where they had the luxury of dishwashers (lol). I do kinda remember that they would actually make some Half Bloods do the dishes as punishments but I mean, like I said, it's just a little nit pick. Otherwise, loved Chapter 1.1 (is there a Chapter 1.0? LOL), can't wait for chapter.... uh 1.2? 2.1? Er-- can't wait for the next chapter!





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