The Mystery to Address

Hi Harray,

You've got a lot going on here and I think you've got a great overall question and theme going for you. Curiousity is a great trait to have as a poet, and it's obvious that you are an observer asking the right kinds of questions.

For this review, I think we should probably focus on what we can make better about this poem! While I like the intention behind this poem, it does get a little overwhelming because of how many lines you have starting the same way. You don't really give any context to what is occuring in your poem, and it is kind of confusing because a lot of the words are completely unrelated to the point that it makes it almost impossible to discern any type of theme. There are some lines that I think really shine, but others that make no sense at all. You also have a lot of words twice, which muddles the waters for me even more because I can't understand why you chose those words to repeat.

I would suggest either cutting this poem down to make it flow a little more sensically, or adding some contextual lines in between the repeating ones in order to provide the reader some perspective on what you're trying to say.

Good luck with your editing! You've got a good start here, I know you can definitely make something great out of this!

Sizzle

Cher has arrived to write a review ✨

I like how the poem is about letting go. Letting go and knowing the truth is a huge relief on anyone's shoulders. I also enjoy how the poem talks about different truths from gluttony to lies, it is good to know the truth. I love the poem overall (as i do with a lot of poems.)

I hope you continue to write!

- Cher