Young Writers Society

I really love these two poems and the way they convey so much feeling in such a short space!

I felt that the comparison between the sky and the sea in "kites" was especially beautiful because of how opposite these two elements usually are. The last line "if only their tails weren't with me" really stuck out to me because of its contrast with the impression of freedom that's created in the previous lines.

I love the metaphor you used in "starry Nights". It's so unique and it beautifully conveys the image of the night sky. The use of the words "sugary" and "milky" adds some sort of familiarity to the image you're 'painting' and a lot of depth to the poem.

These poems are so magically written and i really love the emotion you've added to the descriptions. While I'd love for them to be a bit longer, I think you have conveyed your message effectively to readers and created a lasting impact.

this is my first review so I'm still mastering the art of writing one... I hope it helped..

Hey Haraya, I'm Myth and I'm here with a very short review.

Finless fishes swam up the sky
flutt’ring, flitt’ring in dry blue sea.
Their faces could reach heaven-high

if only their tails weren’t with me.

Perhaps some farmer with a plow
tilled the sky so a boy could sow

sugary specks in the furrow
and make this milky evening glow.

I really like the short, sweet, but descriptive nature of these two poems. It leaves a strong impression on the reader while ensuring that the main ideas don't get lost in translation. I also really like the rhyme scheme, and it gives this poem a sweet completeness that I really like. Amazing job

Wow! I really like your ability to be so descriptive with so few words. Being a huge sucker for space and every aesthetic associated with it, I really liked "Starry Nights"! These are fantastic, keep it up!

I love these poems! They're both quite beautiful. I love the alliteration in "Kites" of the "finless fishes... flutt'ring, flitt'ring". I also love the way you write fluttering; the absence of the "e", replaced by an apostrophe, reminds me of the act of fluttering. It makes the word resemble the action. The last two lines, as well, are very beautiful. The meaning behind them is deep. I love the idea that some part of the fish are dragging them down. I feel like it has a lot of symbolic meaning. "Starry Nights" as well, is quite beautiful and has such a unique perspective on the idea of the sky. I would never have thought of it like that, but now that I've read this poem, it makes so sense. It's so interesting, the way you blend farming and the sky. There's something peaceful about those two things, and you do a nice job of combining them. I also love the way you describe the stars as "sugary specks". Stars are very sweet, in the sense that they're nice to look at and make your feel good, and describing them as "sugary" was a good choice.
The one thing I would suggest is just to make these poems longer. Add more stanzas, with more ideas. The ones you have, in this small space, are so gorgeous and breathtaking, and I'd just like to see more. With a longer poem, there is more room for development, for nuance, and for beautiful descriptions.
Overall, though, this was an amazing set of poems. I look forward to reading more of your work!